The intention of my writing today is to inform my readers of the essence of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is about

1. Maintaining a balance between varying emotions amidst the course of our life time ( aaah yes😬😀🌟) and then

2. Being able to communicate to our fellow humans in a way that is mutually effective and constructive – across spectrum of life events and experiences ..

3. Using social skills – the ability to get along with everyone – at any given moment when when things aren’t going my or your way

Am writing this from my home town of Coimbatore – it’s been great being here – wonderful to see my mother and whanau after 3 years – few of my friends and then the fun and the rest 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟❤️

What caught my attention is that the ever changing fabric of society –

the social – cultural – political influence that has an impact on our belief systems and the choices we make each day ☀️

Our genetic make up maybe a primary component – of who we are

But it is each of our individual and shared experiences that takes predominance in the making of each of us

Emotionally intelligent or emotionally insensitive

Socially adept or awkward

Being effective or being brash

Yet what brings a smile is ….. fascinating aspect of society lies in it”s inconsistency – encapsulated by the plethora of differences – a sound attribute of emotional intelligence lies in accepting that it takes all sorts to make the world go round 😁🙏

Finishing with an Obama quote that caught my eye – Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world -🌟❤️

Greetings to you all …. With the advent of April we see the world transitioning into different seasons . For those of us living in the Southern Hemisphere the autumnal air has brought with it the rain and much needed reprieve from the heat of the relentless summer …

The intention of today’s writing is to share the depth of work done by one of the artists who had displayed his unique piece on the Waiheke sculpture trail.

The work was titled solidarity – the art show cased group of humans standing – with purpose – with unity – kinship – connection .

I was fascinated that the artist had created each of the figures as they individually stand tall – proud and strong –

They seemed to be standing alone yet their poise -reflected a the sense of connection to their core selves while simultaneously highlighting the strength that comes with belonging — purpose and togetherness

As a practitioner I affirm for my clients to stay connected to their core selves- this is about knowing what we like what we don’t like and identifying values that aspire us to feel think and do better

Connection to our core selves paves the way for kinship to others –

Value based connection to our core selves allows to bring in the right kind of people into our lives –

Where we then strive towards

Greater Good

Shared vision

Kinship

Wellness

Collective goodness

Unity

Sense of Purpose

Solidarity

Wellness

Maoridom celebrates the spirit of solidarity as Kotahitanga – and I am delighted to share my thoughts with you all

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to visit this sculpture trail – and I highly recommend the experience as truly gratifying🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

Insight from the sculpture trail ….

The highlight of my weekend in Waiheke was about indulging in the aesthetic delights….

The intention of my writing today is to affirm the practice of delighting in the senses using a mindful approach

To delight in the senses – is about taking notice of what we see, the sounds we hear , the sensation of touch ,taking in the smells -and engaging with our taste buds .

It is also about creating space to reflect on what matters most in the present moment

It is to affirm a closeness to the core of who we are and what we take with gratitude or give with compassion on any given moment

It is to understand that the presence is a gift

Now about the sculpture trail
What caught my eye – on that trip had much to do with my mahi or work….

One of the artist’s had amazingly carved out his work to depict the healing that comes when seeking mental wellness through therapy … it’s about letting someone into your personal space – your head within . It’s about trusting – sharing – reflecting – exploring – implementing and then allowing the light for healing

This piece of work symbolizes the courage and bravery of those who allow to open their vulnerabilities – and seek help to become better versions of themselves

I felt blessed to be able to enjoy this piece of work and I as meandered through the walk with my cherished friend – I felt an overpowering sense of humility , honour and wellness to be working in the realm of mental Health

Please take time to
Smell the roses
See the stars
Touch a leaf or flower or tree
Hear the birds and
Taste an apple
And /or
Take a seat
Wear a smile
Delight in the flow of your breath
And /or
Go for a walk – enjoy the cool air
The morning”s sun
The chill of the breeze and
And
Give thanks for today

In my next blog I will write on another piece of work on that sculpture trail

Ma te wa for now🍀

Kia Ora to my dear readers,

Greetings to you all on this day of March. I have not been able to engage in this creative pursuit for reasons both personal and work related ….

I lost my dear aunt in the past week and the events leading to her passing had left me pensive sad and thoughtful. My work kept me buzzing on…..

In today`s post I will write down what I remember of my aunt – and then will also share 3 trauma related facts from the professional training and the books that have inspired me.

In the work that I do I speak of values and the significance of staying connected – connected to ourselves and to those in our lives and the community we serve ….

1. What I remember of my aunt

“Be Grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond” ….Rumi

Love is a value that I hold close to my heart – love is about celebrating-  Belonging, Connections and Safety.

My beloved aunt who I lost last week – embodied this in the way she connected to– her immediate and extended circle. I remember her zest for life , for her beauty , her vivacious spirit, love for pets, bright smile, warm greetings, robust conversations, amazing embroidery, tongue in cheek comments, lots of ice cream, countless sleepovers – mini getaways, yummiest of black forest cakes and the best of home cooked food. Growing up, we ushered in each year with so much laughter and fun- she helped us experience the best of New Year togetherness . My cousins and I will ever cherish the hospitality, the love and warmth and time that she generously showered on us.

Us -my cousins and I were children ranging from the oldest being 11 to the youngest being 1-2 years of age. Children do as they see –through my aunt`s hospitality and warmth -we as children experienced belonging, connections and safety -she taught each of us ways of celebrating love , belonging and togetherness.  This will be my aunt`s rich legacy.

I am forever proud and grateful for having had this in my life and today my heart feels full with the promise that I will go on to emanate the same values ……to bring back cheer to my grieving spirit and plentiful light to my aunt`s beautiful smile and spirit that has passed on…

(ii)  Trauma related facts

Human mind is complex and the very foundation  of human needs is built on  feeling safe

Dan Siegel- “The human mind is a relational and embodied process that regulates the flow of energy and information”

• Need to feel safe

Why : Our brain works best when we feel safe ; our brain has two components – the feeling brain or the stem and the thinking brain which is the cortical region of the brain. The feeling brain is primitive and the thinking brain is rational. The feeling brain has to be in a good place for the thinking brain to work at it`s best !

• Need to feel cared – need for healthy connections with community n culture

When we feel safe , our feeling brain can release feel good hormones which helps us to think clearly

When we feel safe and when we feel care, we can take in thoughts that are conducive to our personal and professional growth

When we feel safe, we have a good sense of connection to ourselves – and we are able to choose what is good for us

When we feel safe – we have a sense of clarity and purpose

When we feel safe – we engage in actions that are good for us and for those around

• Need to develop coping strategies for managing turbulent emotions

Despite feeling safe there will be times where things don’t  go as planned

So as humans 😊 we need to develop the practice of emotional regulation – through Breathwork, exercise , talking to people we trust,

Engaging in or listening to music or

Journaling or reflection

Being absorbed in creative pursuits that are calming, repetitive and soothing

Practising emotional regulation is a way of calming the feeling brain ;

helps to exercise the brain stem

It keeps us centred

It gives us anchoring

It gives us comfort and helps is to develop a

Safe Inner working model

Practising  emotional regulation has  to become a conscious  everyday activity

So, my dear readers, what activity are you choosing for today for your dose of emotional regulation

“Happiness is something that you bring to life”- Wayne Dyer

Much love

Kia Ora my dear readers,

I hope you are enjoying the warm rain that brought some cool reprieve from the relentless heat

Today I am sharing my thoughts on integrity –as integrity happens to be an inherent aspect of wellness.

What is integrity

Integrity is about being  led by principles that are good for the self and for those around – it is about doing what feels right in your spirit.

The rationale for me to write on this topic is because very often, we are in conflict between choosing what our heart desires and our head dictates – we are contemplating on what we should / must do versus what we actually aspire to do and what feels right for us This conflict is bound to make us tense and sometimes this conflict can push us towards feel disconnected from our core beliefs.

Integrity is about being true to our beliefs- our values – where our feelings and actions are perfectly aligned with our thoughts.

Integrity also is about honoring the self and being true to what feels right for you. It is about being fair and being sound in the choices you make; when we follow rules of integrity we feel a sense of contentment– we feel true to ourselves – we feel brave and we feel the spirit of connection and there is a sense of seamlessness in each of our actions.

When we choose integrity as a value,

We expand the scope of our happiness

Are more purpose driven

We feel empowered

We choose actions that resonate with truth  

And Honour

We welcome plentiful  moments that resonates with

Joy Peace and Contentment

“ Peace is your home, Integrity is the way to it and everything you long for will meet you there…” Martha Beck

I have enjoyed connecting with you all through this blog ….. wishing you much joy and love  

The intention for this piece of writing stems from the philosophy that each day is meant to be lived with purpose -and contentment . Choosing a theme for the day or the week or the year – gives one a verbal and visual cue- it becomes an anchor during the times things go wayward ….choosing a theme helps us to feel connected to ourselves .

Greetings to you all as the first week of 2022 – the first week seems to have gone in a flash….. I pondered on what I would start my blog for this year….and then stuck to my decision that I will be writing about choosing a theme for the day- the week or the year. Today`s writing resonates with some of the thoughts expressed in my previous blog….

The predominant themes that is going to be with me for this year – I choose love and safety

Love as in showing kindness, care – being there for the people who need you or delighting in doing the things you enjoy , taking in the delights that the world richly offers and being absorbed by the unique experience that comes to us in any given moment .

“Love is not affectionate feeling – but a steady wish for the loved person`s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”- C,S,Lewis

Safety is a value that reminds us of what is right and what is legal – safety has the inherent aspect of trust and wisdom -with safety comes right thoughts – right feelings and actions that are good for the self and those around ….. Safety helps us to use a calmer – rational- kinder approach.

What theme would you choose for this week and why ??

How would your actions speak for the themes that you choose??

Some recommendations about making a start …..:)_

Allocate time and space to think about the theme you choose – it could be safety , fun, love ,trust , fitness , punctuality …. the list could go on.

Choose 1 or 2

Put the themes into action -make little notes to yourself

Talk about it – experience it – and this will eventually set the pace and tone for how you live your best life day after day

I have also captured a couple of my quick illustrations to go with today`s writing

Wishing you all a safe 2022 with much love

” Just one small positive thoiight in the morning can change your whole day”- Dalai Lama

Kia Ora dear readers,

“Your habits become your values and your values become your destiny”- Mahatma Gandhi

Today I am writing about the significance of using values for our day today living and giving.

The core purpose of how we live is defined by the values we choose to hold close to our hearts

The values we hold close to our hearts gives us a sense of connectedness to ourselves.

Having values imbibes our lives with purpose.

Values inspires us to have social connections that are meaningful.

It is the values that we cherish that defines and inspire us to give back to the community.

Through giving back to the community we find purpose and

Purpose inspires us to serve and do our best

and with service comes fulfillment.

Here are my values – Empathy, Safety, Love and Service

I slept and dreamt that life was joy-I awoke and saw that life was service -I acted and behold service was joy- Rabindranath Tagore

How do we pick our values….?

Choose the things you love to do …. and be aware of things that motivate you

Be aware of individual strengths and weaknesses

Be proud of your/our strengths and show acceptance and patience towards your/ our own weaknesses

Remember things and moments that brought a smile

Read Biographies or blogs on those who have done well for themselves…. and

Be observant of what has worked for them

Always strive to be in the company of those who bring calm, joy, sense of peace and connectedness

Begin to engage in activities that engage you and then gradually fill up your day with a set of tasks or activities that add fun and meaning to your life.

Make this an everyday habit.

Finishing my writing with Thoreau`s words – It is the beauty within us that makes it possible for us to recognize the beauty around us.”

Have a joyful weekend ….much love

Insight into Self-Care

• 

What does this mean – it is our ability to show unconditional compassion and kindness towards ourselves- during the times we need it. It is that willingness to allocate time and connect to the core of who we are – with our strengths, weaknesses – capabilities and failings. It involves using precious time for self-inquiry- healing and growth

• 

Why is this  important

It is an essential responsibility for each of us to allocate time for self-care; this is challenging for some of us as we have children in tow and / or work pressures mounting. It almost feels impossible amidst the ever growing chores / duties within each of our setting- whether we live with families or co-habitat as couples or strive through flat mate challenges or brave our way through singledom.

• 

“See If You Can Give Yourself Gifts That May Be True Blessings, Such As Self-Acceptance” – Jon Kabat Zinn

Self-care-allows for insight into self-respect

By allocating time for ourselves – we have a better sense of understanding who we really are

What inspires or motivates

What feels comforting

What makes us shy away or

What makes us uncomfortable

• 

It makes us more aware of our sensory needs

Colours that delight us

Tastes and smells that take us by surprise

Seasons that bring us calm and sights that make us grateful

There is also a wisdom that comes with self- care

It makes us mindful of values we cherish

Inspires us to live by principles we wish to emanate

Goals  we intend to achieve

And pathways that work best for each of us

• 

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment– Ralph Waldo Emerson

• 

• 

• 

“Clouds come floating into my life no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add colour to my sunset sky”- Rabindranath Tagore

My Dear Readers ,

The intention of today`s writing is to share insights from my morning`s 10k walk with a much cherished human friend.

Today as I meandered through Auckland suburbia, I happened to look at homes – all kinds of homes – the ordinary ones, and of course some extra ordinary – the simple ones, the ones with blue grey tones, and the ones with buxom hedges, white roses, broken gates, unkempt lawns – green door steps, white verandahs and steep drives.

What fascinated and took over my thoughts – was each of them have a history that is unique…. They are not just homes but spaces that have a solemn presence – that contain both moments and memorabilia – some happy, precious, cherished – the homes have also witnessed moments sad, painful and perhaps even tragic. But what I saw in that stillness – is that each of the homes have withstood the trials and tribulations that comes with the history of time.

No matter how ordinary or extra ordinary they looked -they also had witnessed moments that they have lived through and had-their own individual story that to tell.

My role here I recognized was only to admire and be fascinated as an observer and participant of the undulating changes that caught my eye.

Each of us are a product– of our lineage, our belief systems and our individual experiences. Some experiences make us thrive and some make us almost cringe for cover. We can acknowledge the truths – however there is no need to feel bad of experiences that make us cringe –

We do not have to be caught forever in the throes of our lineage – stepping out of our history is a powerful way to claim our rights to craft our own unique experiences – that are rich– nurturing and gratifying.

The journey of  a thousand miles begins with one step- Lao Tzu

Here are ways to craft our own nurturing stories and experiences

• Surround yourselves with people who care – who make you smile and laugh with ease
• Begin taking notice of what you/ we really like
• Develop a habit to serve those in need – it does not have to be through money it can be through sharing of your time – your skills or just being there for someone
• Cultivate a reading habit – the more you read – the richer you become emotionally and intellectually and then your world becomes that much bigger and better
• Take up a hobby that keeps you engaged
• Engage in creative pursuits
• Go on a walk and take in sights that delight you
• Have a focus or intention for each day
• Talk to someone who can help – there are heaps of wellbeing agencies
• Be unafraid -ask for help x 3 or as many times you need it – there are always good people and systems that serve

• Create a writing habit
• Begin to write notes to yourself
• Start with reminder notes and then progress to making affirmations that make you smile
• Be fiercely kind and compassionate to yourself – this can be hard 😊 and
• Be fiercely disciplined when talking about someone else (whether family or not family _ or of someone that bothers you – this is usually extremely extremely  difficult 😊 – but when we work toward this, we can literally measure our growth in leaps and bounds
• Be generous about the mistakes of the past generation – our mums – dads- grandparents- they did what they knew best

• Te tiro atu to kanohi ki tairawhiti ana tera whiti te ra kite ataata ka hinga ki muri kia koe.”
• “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”- Maori whakatauki

• For NOW
• No matter what our experiences or history has been – each of us are unique individuals and we have in us the means to put our best foot forward
• Looking forward –
•  It is our turn to live our lives
• Each day with sincerity – with
• Sense of purpose and as best as we can – and
• Believe that this can be done

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams – live the life you`ve imagined”- henry David Thoreau

Sending warm wishes for crafting  unique scripts to choose routines with care – live each day with meaning and purpose-   that open the doorways to  plentiful joy ,lots of love and endless tunes of harmony.

The intention for today`s writing is about choosing to be happy no matter what??? – What????

Yesss “Come from a place of peace and you`ll find that you can deal with anything”- Micheal Singer.

COVID TIMES:  is our new reality – Currently we have limited social engagement, we have made significant changes to the way we live, some of us have lost our jobs and some of us can no; longer take holidays or visit family. This has now become a new reality. I have experienced some of the aforesaid limitations first hand, personally. I also work with people whose lives have changed dramatically in the current times.

Pre-COVID:  However, we humans have also been through passages of time – when COVID was unknown –We still had challenges -some of us lost jobs, some families separated and some of us lost loved ones and the list can go on……

• How we choose to respond to those challenges is an indicator of our social and emotional intelligence.

• How we maintain our state of mind – our emotions through our challenges – also is a measure of our physical and emotional health .  

• Wellness comes when we choose happiness as an everyday emotion – to live mindfully – breath after breath – moment to moment

Insight for all times:   

Challenges are an inherent aspect of human experience. There`s always going to be something that niggles at us – it could be about not having enough, or wanting to go somewhere or needing to be with family who live far far far away or wishing that our aches and pains would go away or …….

Wellness comes when we choose to make conscious choices – moment to moment; careful choices of the emotions that we choose to keep and the emotions that we choose to let go. Choosing to be happy is achievable – happiness is an emotion that fills us up and keep us calm. Happiness is an emotion that paves the way for better health…

The choice is ours to be happy in any given moment – no matter what

This does not come easily – nevertheless it can be achieved when we

Spend time in breathwork

Use time to exercise

Find meaningful moments in creative pursuits

Seek solace in the midst of mature

Grow our knowledge through the wisdom of books

Delight in the senses – the tastes, the sounds and the textures that life has to offer

Choose kindness on ourselves; Use trust and patience Practice gratitude – day after day 😊

Live in the now – The perfect moment is this one – Jon Kabat Zinn