The intention of my writing today is to inform my readers of the essence of emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is about
1. Maintaining a balance between varying emotions amidst the course of our life time ( aaah yes😬😀🌟) and then
2. Being able to communicate to our fellow humans in a way that is mutually effective and constructive – across spectrum of life events and experiences ..
3. Using social skills – the ability to get along with everyone – at any given moment when when things aren’t going my or your way
Am writing this from my home town of Coimbatore – it’s been great being here – wonderful to see my mother and whanau after 3 years – few of my friends and then the fun and the rest 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟❤️
What caught my attention is that the ever changing fabric of society –
the social – cultural – political influence that has an impact on our belief systems and the choices we make each day ☀️
Our genetic make up maybe a primary component – of who we are
But it is each of our individual and shared experiences that takes predominance in the making of each of us
Emotionally intelligent or emotionally insensitive
Socially adept or awkward
Being effective or being brash
Yet what brings a smile is ….. fascinating aspect of society lies in it”s inconsistency – encapsulated by the plethora of differences – a sound attribute of emotional intelligence lies in accepting that it takes all sorts to make the world go round 😁🙏
Finishing with an Obama quote that caught my eye – Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world -🌟❤️
Greetings to you all …. With the advent of April we see the world transitioning into different seasons . For those of us living in the Southern Hemisphere the autumnal air has brought with it the rain and much needed reprieve from the heat of the relentless summer …
The intention of today’s writing is to share the depth of work done by one of the artists who had displayed his unique piece on the Waiheke sculpture trail.
The work was titled solidarity – the art show cased group of humans standing – with purpose – with unity – kinship – connection .
I was fascinated that the artist had created each of the figures as they individually stand tall – proud and strong –
They seemed to be standing alone yet their poise -reflected a the sense of connection to their core selves while simultaneously highlighting the strength that comes with belonging — purpose and togetherness
As a practitioner I affirm for my clients to stay connected to their core selves- this is about knowing what we like what we don’t like and identifying values that aspire us to feel think and do better
Connection to our core selves paves the way for kinship to others –
Value based connection to our core selves allows to bring in the right kind of people into our lives –
Where we then strive towards
Sense of Purpose
Maoridom celebrates the spirit of solidarity as Kotahitanga – and I am delighted to share my thoughts with you all
I am grateful to have had the opportunity to visit this sculpture trail – and I highly recommend the experience as truly gratifying🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
The highlight of my weekend in Waiheke was about indulging in the aesthetic delights….
The intention of my writing today is to affirm the practice of delighting in the senses using a mindful approach
To delight in the senses – is about taking notice of what we see, the sounds we hear , the sensation of touch ,taking in the smells -and engaging with our taste buds .
It is also about creating space to reflect on what matters most in the present moment
It is to affirm a closeness to the core of who we are and what we take with gratitude or give with compassion on any given moment
It is to understand that the presence is a gift
Now about the sculpture trail What caught my eye – on that trip had much to do with my mahi or work….
One of the artist’s had amazingly carved out his work to depict the healing that comes when seeking mental wellness through therapy … it’s about letting someone into your personal space – your head within . It’s about trusting – sharing – reflecting – exploring – implementing and then allowing the light for healing
This piece of work symbolizes the courage and bravery of those who allow to open their vulnerabilities – and seek help to become better versions of themselves
I felt blessed to be able to enjoy this piece of work and I as meandered through the walk with my cherished friend – I felt an overpowering sense of humility , honour and wellness to be working in the realm of mental Health
Please take time to Smell the roses See the stars Touch a leaf or flower or tree Hear the birds and Taste an apple And /or Take a seat Wear a smile Delight in the flow of your breath And /or Go for a walk – enjoy the cool air The morning”s sun The chill of the breeze and And Give thanks for today
In my next blog I will write on another piece of work on that sculpture trail
Greetings to you all on this day of March. I have not been able to engage in this creative pursuit for reasons both personal and work related ….
I lost my dear aunt in the past week and the events leading to her passing had left me pensive sad and thoughtful. My work kept me buzzing on…..
In today`s post I will write down what I remember of my aunt – and then will also share 3 trauma related facts from the professional training and the books that have inspired me.
In the work that I do I speak of values and the significance of staying connected – connected to ourselves and to those in our lives and the community we serve ….
What I remember of my aunt
“Be Grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond” ….Rumi
Love is a value that I hold close to my heart – love is about celebrating- Belonging, Connections and Safety.
My beloved aunt who I lost last week – embodied this in the way she connected to– her immediate and extended circle. I remember her zest for life , for her beauty , her vivacious spirit, love for pets, bright smile, warm greetings, robust conversations, amazing embroidery, tongue in cheek comments, lots of ice cream, countless sleepovers – mini getaways, yummiest of black forest cakes and the best of home cooked food. Growing up, we ushered in each year with so much laughter and fun- she helped us experience the best of New Year togetherness . My cousins and I will ever cherish the hospitality, the love and warmth and time that she generously showered on us.
Us -my cousins and I were children ranging from the oldest being 11 to the youngest being 1-2 years of age. Children do as they see –through my aunt`s hospitality and warmth -we as children experienced belonging, connections and safety -she taught each of us ways of celebrating love , belonging and togetherness. This will be my aunt`s rich legacy.
I am forever proud and grateful for having had this in my life and today my heart feels full with the promise that I will go on to emanate the same values ……to bring back cheer to my grieving spirit and plentiful light to my aunt`s beautiful smile and spirit that has passed on…
(ii) Trauma related facts
Human mind is complex and the very foundation of human needs is built on feeling safe
Dan Siegel- “The human mind is a relational and embodied process that regulates the flow of energy and information”
Need to feel safe
Why : Our brain works best when we feel safe ; our brain has two components – the feeling brain or the stem and the thinking brain which is the cortical region of the brain. The feeling brain is primitive and the thinking brain is rational. The feeling brain has to be in a good place for the thinking brain to work at it`s best !
Need to feel cared – need for healthy connections with community n culture
When we feel safe , our feeling brain can release feel good hormones which helps us to think clearly
When we feel safe and when we feel care, we can take in thoughts that are conducive to our personal and professional growth
When we feel safe, we have a good sense of connection to ourselves – and we are able to choose what is good for us
When we feel safe – we have a sense of clarity and purpose
When we feel safe – we engage in actions that are good for us and for those around
Need to develop coping strategies for managing turbulent emotions
Despite feeling safe there will be times where things don’t go as planned
So as humans 😊 we need to develop the practice of emotional regulation – through Breathwork, exercise , talking to people we trust,
Engaging in or listening to music or
Journaling or reflection
Being absorbed in creative pursuits that are calming, repetitive and soothing
Practising emotional regulation is a way of calming the feeling brain ;
helps to exercise the brain stem
It keeps us centred
It gives us anchoring
It gives us comfort and helps is to develop a
Safe Inner working model
Practising emotional regulation has to become a conscious everyday activity
So, my dear readers, what activity are you choosing for today for your dose of emotional regulation
“Happiness is something that you bring to life”- Wayne Dyer
I hope you are enjoying the warm rain that brought some cool reprieve from the relentless heat
Today I am sharing my thoughts on integrity –as integrity happens to be an inherent aspect of wellness.
What is integrity
Integrity is about being led by principles that are good for the self and for those around – it is about doing what feels right in your spirit.
The rationale for me to write on this topic is because very often, we are in conflict between choosing what our heart desires and our head dictates – we are contemplating on what we should / must do versus what we actually aspire to do and what feels right for us This conflict is bound to make us tense and sometimes this conflict can push us towards feel disconnected from our core beliefs.
Integrity is about being true to our beliefs- our values – where our feelings and actions are perfectly aligned with our thoughts.
Integrity also is about honoring the self and being true to what feels right for you. It is about being fair and being sound in the choices you make; when we follow rules of integrity we feel a sense of contentment– we feel true to ourselves – we feel brave and we feel the spirit of connection and there is a sense of seamlessness in each of our actions.
When we choose integrity as a value,
We expand the scope of our happiness
Are more purpose driven
We feel empowered
We choose actions that resonate with truth
We welcome plentiful moments that resonates with
Joy Peace and Contentment
“ Peace is your home, Integrity is the way to it and everything you long for will meet you there…” Martha Beck
I have enjoyed connecting with you all through this blog ….. wishing you much joy and love
The intention for this piece of writing stems from the philosophy that each day is meant to be lived with purpose -and contentment . Choosing a theme for the day or the week or the year – gives one a verbal and visual cue- it becomes an anchor during the times things go wayward ….choosing a theme helps us to feel connected to ourselves .
Greetings to you all as the first week of 2022 – the first week seems to have gone in a flash….. I pondered on what I would start my blog for this year….and then stuck to my decision that I will be writing about choosing a theme for the day- the week or the year. Today`s writing resonates with some of the thoughts expressed in my previous blog….
The predominant themes that is going to be with me for this year – I choose love and safety
Love as in showing kindness, care – being there for the people who need you or delighting in doing the things you enjoy , taking in the delights that the world richly offers and being absorbed by the unique experience that comes to us in any given moment .
“Love is not affectionate feeling – but a steady wish for the loved person`s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”- C,S,Lewis
Safety is a value that reminds us of what is right and what is legal – safety has the inherent aspect of trust and wisdom -with safety comes right thoughts – right feelings and actions that are good for the self and those around ….. Safety helps us to use a calmer – rational- kinder approach.
What theme would you choose for this week and why ??
How would your actions speak for the themes that you choose??
Some recommendations about making a start …..:)_
Allocate time and space to think about the theme you choose – it could be safety , fun, love ,trust , fitness , punctuality …. the list could go on.
Choose 1 or 2
Put the themes into action -make little notes to yourself
Talk about it – experience it – and this will eventually set the pace and tone for how you live your best life day after day
I have also captured a couple of my quick illustrations to go with today`s writing
Wishing you all a safe 2022 with much love
” Just one small positive thoiight in the morning can change your whole day”- Dalai Lama
What does this mean – it is our ability to show unconditional compassion and kindness towards ourselves- during the times we need it. It is that willingness to allocate time and connect to the core of who we are – with our strengths, weaknesses – capabilities and failings. It involves using precious time for self-inquiry- healing and growth
Why is this important
It is an essential responsibility for each of us to allocate time for self-care; this is challenging for some of us as we have children in tow and / or work pressures mounting. It almost feels impossible amidst the ever growing chores / duties within each of our setting- whether we live with families or co-habitat as couples or strive through flat mate challenges or brave our way through singledom.
“See If You Can Give Yourself Gifts That May Be True Blessings, Such As Self-Acceptance” – Jon Kabat Zinn
Self-care-allows for insight into self-respect
By allocating time for ourselves – we have a better sense of understanding who we really are
What inspires or motivates
What feels comforting
What makes us shy away or
What makes us uncomfortable
It makes us more aware of our sensory needs
Colours that delight us
Tastes and smells that take us by surprise
Seasons that bring us calm and sights that make us grateful
There is also a wisdom that comes with self- care
It makes us mindful of values we cherish
Inspires us to live by principles we wish to emanate
Goals we intend to achieve
And pathways that work best for each of us
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Clouds come floating into my life no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add colour to my sunset sky”- Rabindranath Tagore
My Dear Readers ,
The intention of today`s writing is to share insights from my morning`s 10k walk with a much cherished human friend.
Today as I meandered through Auckland suburbia, I happened to look at homes – all kinds of homes – the ordinary ones, and of course some extra ordinary – the simple ones, the ones with blue grey tones, and the ones with buxom hedges, white roses, broken gates, unkempt lawns – green door steps, white verandahs and steep drives.
What fascinated and took over my thoughts – was each of them have a history that is unique…. They are not just homes but spaces that have a solemn presence – that contain both moments and memorabilia – some happy, precious, cherished – the homes have also witnessed moments sad, painful and perhaps even tragic. But what I saw in that stillness – is that each of the homes have withstood the trials and tribulations that comes with the history of time.
No matter how ordinary or extra ordinary they looked -they also had witnessed moments that they have lived through and had-their own individual story that to tell.
My role here I recognized was only to admire and be fascinated as an observer and participant of the undulating changes that caught my eye.
Each of us are a product– of our lineage, our belief systems and our individual experiences. Some experiences make us thrive and some make us almost cringe for cover. We can acknowledge the truths – however there is no need to feel bad of experiences that make us cringe –
We do not have to be caught forever in the throes of our lineage – stepping out of our history is a powerful way to claim our rights to craft our own unique experiences – that are rich– nurturing and gratifying.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step- Lao Tzu
Here are ways to craft our own nurturing stories and experiences
Surround yourselves with people who care – who make you smile and laugh with ease
Begin taking notice of what you/ we really like
Develop a habit to serve those in need – it does not have to be through money it can be through sharing of your time – your skills or just being there for someone
Cultivate a reading habit – the more you read – the richer you become emotionally and intellectually and then your world becomes that much bigger and better
Take up a hobby that keeps you engaged
Engage in creative pursuits
Go on a walk and take in sights that delight you
Have a focus or intention for each day
Talk to someone who can help – there are heaps of wellbeing agencies
Be unafraid -ask for help x 3 or as many times you need it – there are always good people and systems that serve
Create a writing habit
Begin to write notes to yourself
Start with reminder notes and then progress to making affirmations that make you smile
Be fiercely kind and compassionate to yourself – this can be hard 😊 and
Be fiercely disciplined when talking about someone else (whether family or not family _ or of someone that bothers you – this is usually extremely extremely difficult 😊 – but when we work toward this, we can literally measure our growth in leaps and bounds
Be generous about the mistakes of the past generation – our mums – dads- grandparents- they did what they knew best
Te tiro atu to kanohi ki tairawhiti ana tera whiti te ra kite ataata ka hinga ki muri kia koe.”
“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”- Maori whakatauki
No matter what our experiences or history has been – each of us are unique individuals and we have in us the means to put our best foot forward
Looking forward –
It is our turn to live our lives
Each day with sincerity – with
Sense of purpose and as best as we can – and
Believe that this can be done
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams – live the life you`ve imagined”- henry David Thoreau
Sending warm wishes for crafting unique scripts to choose routines with care – live each day with meaning and purpose- that open the doorways to plentiful joy ,lots of love and endless tunes of harmony.