Greetings to my dear readers …I am here in India now – whilst grateful for time with my family , I feel twice as blessed to continue to do my mahi 🍀⚓️

Many a times I get absorbed in discussions relating to trauma – the impact of trauma and the pathways towards healing … it’s been raining here , and as I finished a discussion , I felt the need to make this the topic of today’s writing 🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

Some questions that come my way

1. How do we redirect adolescents and young people – who constantly push boundaries ??

⁃ Find ways of affirming the young person’s identify

⁃ Create a concrete visual where they are reminded of their own strengths and talents

⁃ Create a visual that affirms their identity to themselves

⁃ Write to them or make a visual that affirms their sense of belonging to your family

⁃ Connectedness , belonging and relationship is the core – so give messages that helps them understand that very clearly

⁃ Use words and set up visuals around the home – celebrating relationships and connections facilitate relational wealth

⁃

⁃ Help them to choose 2-3 values

⁃ Make a visual booklet of how the young people can practise their values on themselves – to those around and to extended community

⁃ Create a game / a set of cards with personalised questions such as

⁃ – what are your strengths

⁃ What would you like to be remembered for

⁃ What makes you smile

⁃ What are the feeling you get when you smile 😊

⁃ What makes you kind

⁃ When do you practise kindness

⁃ Name the feelings that make you smile

⁃ Name the feelings that make you offbeat

– Name one or two of your favourite people –

– Name a famous petson you like – what values that they practise makes you admire them – kindness , honesty , bravery ???

⁃ What are your chosen values

⁃ How do you practice your values

⁃ Have words that Affirm or praise their strengths

⁃ Where do you see yourself in 3 years’ time

⁃ What would you like to be doing in 3 years’ time

⁃ What are you doing to get there ??

Cognitive strategies such as the aforesaid helps with thinking – cognitive skills excercise the cortical part of the brain called the thinking brain



However for the thinking brain to work – the feeling brain has to be in a state of calm

The feeling brain is also called the stem or the primitive brain

⁃ some ways to help us all to embrace the calm

⁃ Engage in breathwork – breathe in to the count of two – hold for two counts and breathe out to the count of 4

⁃ Do stretches

⁃ Move as often as you can

– Be in the midst of nature

⁃ Read your favourite story

⁃ Talk to someone you trust

⁃ Draw -find out what your favourite colour is

⁃ Most important

⁃ Let’s engage and teach that

⁃ Learning to use calming skills is important for being able to think clear – make right choices and to choose actions that are kind , appropriate and safe

“ As you think so you become” – Wayne Dyer

Here is an amazing resource where two great minds (Oprah and Dr.Bruce Perry ) discuss Dr.Perry’s book – What happened to you ?

https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/oprahs-super-soul/id1264843400?i=1000518893926

Thank you for giving me a reason to connect 😊

Arohanui

To my dear readers

Hope you are working on/ towards your individual wellness …. The insight that comes from working through your/ our challenges is that – it allows us to be more in tune and connected to the things, the people and the experiences that helped in getting thus far .

I am now on travel mode to be with my family and friends in India and also to complete some mahi (work ) that needs to be done here. My purpose as an advocate for wellness and the luxury of time are factors that have inspired me to write today. The intention for today’s post is to share principles of acceptance that help toward betterment of our emotional states

The universal law is that all of us experience / face some challenges at any given time . How we respond to these challenges is what matters . I learnt about a clever formula that applies al time . This is how it goes

Event + Response = impacts the outcome ☘️

When we experience difficulties we are overcome by surge of emotions – thoughts abd feelings . Not knowing yo manage these feelings can result in tending to ways that are unhealthy and unsafe – such as addictions to food / alcohol , irritability , procrastination abd a generic feeling of unrest abd disease-. The trick lies in learning to manage these feelings and emotions

An easy formula from Dr. Russ Harris is using the ACE method

Acknowledge : your thoughts and feelings – wheh reminded of the event – name your thoughts and feelings

Connect : to your body – be aware of changes that you feel – address the sensations abd calm using touch – hold your palms together – give yourself a brief Pat abd check in

Engage : Engage with what gives you comfort or distraction from right where you are …. Look around for colours that you see . Think of and look for words that fill you with calm and sounds that resonate with peace – ( use a bell , the sound of birds abd music that takes you to a different place …) ; if you are a nature lover feel the texture of pebbles and take notice of smells that are nurturing and tastes that gives comfort … hold on to objects memories and experiences that remind you of safety , wellness and peace .

& let’s teach ourselves to do this repeatedly 😊🍀

With much love 💕

Dear readers,

The intention of today`s post is to share my thoughts on loneliness – it is probably less spoken about than it should be – yet we all experience ” feeling lonely” or dealing with the stoicism that comes when living by oneself. In the work that I do, I hear from people in all age groups – young , middle-aged, senior and all walks of life who experience feeling alone from time to time,

Loneliness is also a universal human emotion – we feel it when our children have left and are independent ; we feel it when we move to a new place or a new country and there is also loneliness experienced in unhappy relationships .

It is okay to feel alone or lonely – this is a phase of life. It is not okay however, to feel this way all of the time,

Why ??? – we as humans are social creatures and we thrive when we recognise that the core function of our brains and heart is relational – it is about seeking out and forming connections that allow us to flourish and being in relationships that help us thrive – give , share , love , know and be known.

For those, who are apprehensive about forming those connections here are some small steps to develop a sense of belonging and connection – where you can slowly explore being a part of a group. It can be a book club, a walking group , a yoga practice or a singing group -this is a small stepping stone that facilitates belonging and connection

Fostering connectedness with family , friends who you have made and known through work or study and meeting with people you have met through shared interests and making this a regular part of your life is another way of nurturing relational connectedness

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being known and understood by those whom we share a close connection adds dollops of wellness – for some the close connection is a spouse and for many others the close connection comes from family- it maybe be your children , your parents or extended family – or friends who replace family. Being known and understood is nurturing and validates a basic need that allows for resilience and growth .

What are some ways to bring in the right kind of people into your social and immediate circle

The principles that I have written about in my previous blogs come to play here too

Know your self really well – do a flow chart on your strengths and weaknesses

Identify 3 values that are close to your heart – it can be – kindness, respect, love , compassion, honesty…..

Check in with yourself as to how you practise those values on you/ self and on those around you

Participate in activities , volunteer in places where you get to implement these values

The more you do this – you will see – a connectedness with your self

The more connected you are with yourself , you allow for like minded people to become your friends…….your connections and your lifelong cheerleaders

I have learnt that to be with those I like is enough ……- Walt Whitman

Kia Ora dear readers,

“Whatever life throws at our way,our individual responses will be able to make us stronger ,for walking through and sharing the load” Queen Elizabeth II

The intention of today`s writing is to share insights of what I know of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the II – the longest serving monarch and the learning that we could take from her long and well lived life. I write this on two accounts from a personal and global perspective – as a global citizen I write here with conviction that Grace and Wisdom come as a Light and a Blessing.

On a personal note, Queen`s passing felt just a little more personal as her passing was on the same day as my beloved grandmother – who also lived like a queen, lived long, emanated grace, wisdom and died most peacefully with family by her side. As a global citizen I am in awe of the consistency of how Her Majesty served her nation and connected to the rest of the world.   As a wellness practitioner I am compelled to write on this – the Queen followed through with all of the steps that welcomes wellness and wisdom; she emanated Grace in the way she served tirelessly and in the manner of how she connected with humanity.

It was reported that she always made sure that people feel comfortable in her presence. That quality is a mark of steadfast greatness. Opulence, and wealth are transient – the connections we make and the impact of how we connect – how we make people feel is the highest mark of social and emotional intelligence. So here – lets be conscious of how we choose to be present , connect and make people feel

I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy. Rabindranath Tagore

The words we use becomes the script of how we create our reality – on her 21^st birthday she announced “I declare before you all that my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service …………” We know for sure that she did this to perfection right -until the day before her passing –her smile, her presence and her dedication to serve was a hallmark of greatness.

The Queen`s love for dogs – and the sheer delight and joy that she shared openly in being with her beloved dogs will always be remembered. The numerous snapshots with her dogs and her love for horses reflect her warmth, and radiance and the joy that she took in being in the company of her pets.  Her time with her pets reinforces the constant that the unconditional love of animals -especially dogs bestow the best of wellness to all of humanity. The personal anecdotes of those closest to her reflects that she made time to connect even with the tiny tots of her family. Hearing more of these anecdotes of Her Majesty on her final farewell  has been historical , splendid –a lesson in anthropology – and the rainbows that lit up the skies – in places that she called home -bestowed a sense of awe and respect to the departed soul.  

“That you are here

That life exists and identity

That the powerful play goes on

And you may contribute a verse” – Walt Whitman

This being a reminder to all of us that no matter what personal and professional lives demand of us, making times for the cherished connections paves the way for a culture of togetherness, love and much much more.

Lets find small ways to serve the community – and contribute to greater good – offering time , sharing your knowledge , using kind words to help someone feel better, also goes into the umbrella of service.

When being present or speaking to someone –

Be aware of the use of words, tone of voice

The words we choose becomes a script for our lives

Use detail – remember something about another – that makes them feel better for it

Use body language that is gentle , and assuring

When taking leave or finishing a conversation – pause and

Finish with warmth and generosity of spirit

We are not all to the manor born –

 however, in the way we choose to be

we can leave footprints on the sands of time that

Resonates with the ethos of

 Greatness, Grace,

Wellness and Wisdom

Towards greater goodness and peace ,

Much love

Today I write about choosing peace🍀happiness / joy ☀️and courage 🌟

These values make up the core of how we embrace meaningful living on a day to day basis

The very essence of living well and the sole purpose of life well lived is to be able to

Live in peace –

Engage with joy and

Choose to be brave when fear and apprehension threatens to take hold of oureasoning 👍

How do we begin the process of choosing peace -joy and courage 🍀🌟☀️

Knowing home truths helps … 💙

Our brain health and physical health is largely influenced by the way we choose to think and process out thoughts and feelings 🎼☘️

Our actions reflect the nature of our thoughts – our beliefs about ourselves and choices that we make . 🍀🍀🍀🍀

So how do we begin to cultivate the habit of thinking well and feeling well – how do we let our actions be guided by the power of good thoughts – good beliefs ….. 💙

Here are some ways to invite feelings that resonate with joy and peace and courage

⁃ Take time to reflect 💙

⁃ Study and understand some basic facts on brain science 🍀

⁃ For example knowing that anger , sadness and fear create an imbalance in the way our brain works 🌺

⁃ Negative feelings promote toxins and hormonal changes that are not conducive for good health ☀️

⁃ Take time to choose values that are important for you 🍀

⁃ Choosing values and being guided by our values add meaning and purpose to our lives 👏🏽

⁃ Value based living guides us in managing our thoughts and emotions 🎸

⁃ Invest in wellness – embrace self care , Excercise . Music and Reading

⁃ Begin each day with intention – ask yourself what is your goal for the day- write it down and go with it👍

⁃ Take tiny steps of courage ☀️

⁃ If things make you wary begin to explore why – take small steps towards what seems daunting 🌟

⁃ Use the help of loved ones- family – Friends you trust and mentors to talk /discuss 🍀

⁃ Read books that are informative 💙

⁃ Practise breath work everyday

⁃ Choose kindness and compassion to yourself and those around you ☀️

⁃ Write down sayings that resonate with good thoughts and good feelings ☘️

⁃ Serve others – it always gives bountiful joy 🎼☘️

⁃ Knowledge is instructive and helps us to know and when we choose 🍀🍀☀️

⁃ Intention – we empower ourselves to transform any experience that is challenging ☘️🍀

⁃ It is really about accepting that life is fascinating and complex – things happen beyond our control 💙

⁃ We cannot change the past nor know the future 🌺

⁃ When we choose to live each moment with Peace Joy and Courage

⁃ The presence is the only reality

⁃ We teach ourselves that the gift of life is in the present moment 🍀☀️🌟❤️☘️

Kia Ora to you all

I nearly missed making an input for my blog this month -however the discussions I had with my clients and with some of my fellow humans has inspired me to add to my writings. The work that I do and the books that support my experience – has been hugely helpful in teaching me to identify emerging patterns of behaviour within myself and with those around me. I am grateful for this learning and it is a privilege to be able to share….

The intention of today` s writing -is looking at our irritabilities and discontent from a perspective of our childhood experiences. Most of us have a pattern of how we engage with ourselves and with our fellow humans- be it family, friends or our work community.

Positive memories:  It is worthwhile to make time to sit down and write down – what gives  joy –  earliest memories of feeling brave and cherished – and what makes us smile in peace .

Not so positive: On that same note – make time and space to write down what creates sadness -memories that resonate with loss, our earliest memories of anger, guilt, shame, resentment and then images that instil a sense of fear.

Be informed that each of us as individuals – we are a sum total of our happy memories and our not so happy memories. The combination of memories – makes up for our experiences and the perception and beliefs/ world views that we have about ourselves and about the world that we live in….

Here are some ways to address irritabilities that show up unexpectedly….

So when we recognise the hint of irritability or resentment or anger or disappointment – we can manage and win – when we learn to go back to those early memories when we felt these emotions at varying levels. Learn to teach yourself that those memories belong to the past –

The emotions you feel now stem from how you responded to a situation from the past. It comes from a deficit belief system that – “I am not enough” – I am not in control and / or it is my fault

1. The not so positive memories unfortunately go on to build our deficit belief systems.
2. Deficit belief system comes from how we have learnt to think about ourselves -based on some of our not so positive experiences.
3. Nurture the truth that our individual perceptions need not necessarily be true.

You might have been a child where you had little control or you might have been in circumstances that were difficult to set right- use forgiveness and acceptance on self

Use kind language to teach the self that there are plentiful choices now

We do not have to respond in the same way we did then – because each of us are here in the present moment and in the NOW💙

The present moment has plentiful opportunities – the present moment has plethora of possibilities and the present moment is a GIFT☀️

Use it to fill up your cup- where you feel sadness- replace it with joy – do simple things that give you joy – do it everyday and delight in the emotion of JOY❤️

Where you feel anger – replace it with peace – do things that fill you with contentment and do this everyday🍀

Where you feel fear- choose courage – go and take small steps that make you feel brave and proud and strong- try this everyday 🌟

When you have the choice between being right and being kind just choose kind- Wayne Dyer

Arohanui

Kia Ora my dear readers …

I am delighted to be writing to you all – at this moment

I have enjoyed my time away in India

Connecting to family

Friends

Soulful food

Traditions

and now looking forward to being home again 🌟😃

The intention of my writing today is to share an immigrant perspective of living in a land that is now home and leaving a land that also feels like home…. 🍀😊

Godzone

Aotearoa NZ is home as this is where I have

Created a history of 25 years 👏🏽❤️with my then young family -our moments together –

Milestones we made –

Education -my sons and I accessed –

Pets we loved and raised –

The connections made –

Our memories

Travels across this amazing terrain

Our cross cultural journey –

Lessons in the rich bicultural traditions of

A country that I fondly call home 🍀🌟❤️😊😊

Every time I look at the blue of the sea

The stretch of the hills

Staunch mountains and the

Undulating greens -I am in awe …

I am persistently reminded of God – Faith – and Connections

I remain grateful that my work here

Fulfills my need to serve others

Facilitating pathways towards betterment in individual wellness 🍀

In one of my next check ins I will endeavor to make note of why India remains and will always be close to my heart ❤️🍀😊

When one has two places that mean home –

there is so much to be grateful for – yet there is a hint of wariness that sets in and makes me wonder …, if I can ever choose

where would I rather be ….

I really don’t have the answer for it just yet

What I do know for sure is

Even when the heartstrings tug ….

The present moment is

the only gift that remains with each of us

So let’s strive to

Think well

Feel well &

Do well at each given moment …,🌟❤️😄

Faith 🍀

Family 🌟💙❤️🍀☀️

Connections 🚲🎼🎸☘️🏀⚽️🍸

Service is what 👍👏🏽🍀😊🙏

Instills purpose

Takes hold and

Leads

Towards individual and collective wellness 🍀👍🎼👏🏽🌟

With much love 🍀

The intention of my writing today is to inform my readers of the essence of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is about

1. Maintaining a balance between varying emotions amidst the course of our life time ( aaah yes😬😀🌟) and then

2. Being able to communicate to our fellow humans in a way that is mutually effective and constructive – across spectrum of life events and experiences ..

3. Using social skills – the ability to get along with everyone – at any given moment when when things aren’t going my or your way

Am writing this from my home town of Coimbatore – it’s been great being here – wonderful to see my mother and whanau after 3 years – few of my friends and then the fun and the rest 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟❤️

What caught my attention is that the ever changing fabric of society –

the social – cultural – political influence that has an impact on our belief systems and the choices we make each day ☀️

Our genetic make up maybe a primary component – of who we are

But it is each of our individual and shared experiences that takes predominance in the making of each of us

Emotionally intelligent or emotionally insensitive

Socially adept or awkward

Being effective or being brash

Yet what brings a smile is ….. fascinating aspect of society lies in it”s inconsistency – encapsulated by the plethora of differences – a sound attribute of emotional intelligence lies in accepting that it takes all sorts to make the world go round 😁🙏

Finishing with an Obama quote that caught my eye – Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world -🌟❤️

Greetings to you all …. With the advent of April we see the world transitioning into different seasons . For those of us living in the Southern Hemisphere the autumnal air has brought with it the rain and much needed reprieve from the heat of the relentless summer …

The intention of today’s writing is to share the depth of work done by one of the artists who had displayed his unique piece on the Waiheke sculpture trail.

The work was titled solidarity – the art show cased group of humans standing – with purpose – with unity – kinship – connection .

I was fascinated that the artist had created each of the figures as they individually stand tall – proud and strong –

They seemed to be standing alone yet their poise -reflected a the sense of connection to their core selves while simultaneously highlighting the strength that comes with belonging — purpose and togetherness

As a practitioner I affirm for my clients to stay connected to their core selves- this is about knowing what we like what we don’t like and identifying values that aspire us to feel think and do better

Connection to our core selves paves the way for kinship to others –

Value based connection to our core selves allows to bring in the right kind of people into our lives –

Where we then strive towards

Greater Good

Shared vision

Kinship

Wellness

Collective goodness

Unity

Sense of Purpose

Solidarity

Wellness

Maoridom celebrates the spirit of solidarity as Kotahitanga – and I am delighted to share my thoughts with you all

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to visit this sculpture trail – and I highly recommend the experience as truly gratifying🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

Insight from the sculpture trail ….

The highlight of my weekend in Waiheke was about indulging in the aesthetic delights….

The intention of my writing today is to affirm the practice of delighting in the senses using a mindful approach

To delight in the senses – is about taking notice of what we see, the sounds we hear , the sensation of touch ,taking in the smells -and engaging with our taste buds .

It is also about creating space to reflect on what matters most in the present moment

It is to affirm a closeness to the core of who we are and what we take with gratitude or give with compassion on any given moment

It is to understand that the presence is a gift

Now about the sculpture trail
What caught my eye – on that trip had much to do with my mahi or work….

One of the artist’s had amazingly carved out his work to depict the healing that comes when seeking mental wellness through therapy … it’s about letting someone into your personal space – your head within . It’s about trusting – sharing – reflecting – exploring – implementing and then allowing the light for healing

This piece of work symbolizes the courage and bravery of those who allow to open their vulnerabilities – and seek help to become better versions of themselves

I felt blessed to be able to enjoy this piece of work and I as meandered through the walk with my cherished friend – I felt an overpowering sense of humility , honour and wellness to be working in the realm of mental Health

Please take time to
Smell the roses
See the stars
Touch a leaf or flower or tree
Hear the birds and
Taste an apple
And /or
Take a seat
Wear a smile
Delight in the flow of your breath
And /or
Go for a walk – enjoy the cool air
The morning”s sun
The chill of the breeze and
And
Give thanks for today

In my next blog I will write on another piece of work on that sculpture trail

Ma te wa for now🍀