Kia Ora to you all

I nearly missed making an input for my blog this month -however the discussions I had with my clients and with some of my fellow humans has inspired me to add to my writings. The work that I do and the books that support my experience – has been hugely helpful in teaching me to identify emerging patterns of behaviour within myself and with those around me. I am grateful for this learning and it is a privilege to be able to share….

The intention of today` s writing -is looking at our irritabilities and discontent from a perspective of our childhood experiences. Most of us have a pattern of how we engage with ourselves and with our fellow humans- be it family, friends or our work community.

Positive memories:  It is worthwhile to make time to sit down and write down – what gives  joy –  earliest memories of feeling brave and cherished – and what makes us smile in peace .

Not so positive: On that same note – make time and space to write down what creates sadness -memories that resonate with loss, our earliest memories of anger, guilt, shame, resentment and then images that instil a sense of fear.

Be informed that each of us as individuals – we are a sum total of our happy memories and our not so happy memories. The combination of memories – makes up for our experiences and the perception and beliefs/ world views that we have about ourselves and about the world that we live in….

Here are some ways to address irritabilities that show up unexpectedly….

So when we recognise the hint of irritability or resentment or anger or disappointment – we can manage and win – when we learn to go back to those early memories when we felt these emotions at varying levels. Learn to teach yourself that those memories belong to the past –

The emotions you feel now stem from how you responded to a situation from the past. It comes from a deficit belief system that – “I am not enough” – I am not in control and / or it is my fault

1. The not so positive memories unfortunately go on to build our deficit belief systems.
2. Deficit belief system comes from how we have learnt to think about ourselves -based on some of our not so positive experiences.
3. Nurture the truth that our individual perceptions need not necessarily be true.

You might have been a child where you had little control or you might have been in circumstances that were difficult to set right- use forgiveness and acceptance on self

Use kind language to teach the self that there are plentiful choices now

We do not have to respond in the same way we did then – because each of us are here in the present moment and in the NOW💙

The present moment has plentiful opportunities – the present moment has plethora of possibilities and the present moment is a GIFT☀️

Use it to fill up your cup- where you feel sadness- replace it with joy – do simple things that give you joy – do it everyday and delight in the emotion of JOY❤️

Where you feel anger – replace it with peace – do things that fill you with contentment and do this everyday🍀

Where you feel fear- choose courage – go and take small steps that make you feel brave and proud and strong- try this everyday 🌟

When you have the choice between being right and being kind just choose kind- Wayne Dyer

Arohanui

Kia Ora my dear readers …

I am delighted to be writing to you all – at this moment

I have enjoyed my time away in India

Connecting to family

Friends

Soulful food

Traditions

and now looking forward to being home again 🌟😃

The intention of my writing today is to share an immigrant perspective of living in a land that is now home and leaving a land that also feels like home…. 🍀😊

Godzone

Aotearoa NZ is home as this is where I have

Created a history of 25 years 👏🏽❤️with my then young family -our moments together –

Milestones we made –

Education -my sons and I accessed –

Pets we loved and raised –

The connections made –

Our memories

Travels across this amazing terrain

Our cross cultural journey –

Lessons in the rich bicultural traditions of

A country that I fondly call home 🍀🌟❤️😊😊

Every time I look at the blue of the sea

The stretch of the hills

Staunch mountains and the

Undulating greens -I am in awe …

I am persistently reminded of God – Faith – and Connections

I remain grateful that my work here

Fulfills my need to serve others

Facilitating pathways towards betterment in individual wellness 🍀

In one of my next check ins I will endeavor to make note of why India remains and will always be close to my heart ❤️🍀😊

When one has two places that mean home –

there is so much to be grateful for – yet there is a hint of wariness that sets in and makes me wonder …, if I can ever choose

where would I rather be ….

I really don’t have the answer for it just yet

What I do know for sure is

Even when the heartstrings tug ….

The present moment is

the only gift that remains with each of us

So let’s strive to

Think well

Feel well &

Do well at each given moment …,🌟❤️😄

Faith 🍀

Family 🌟💙❤️🍀☀️

Connections 🚲🎼🎸☘️🏀⚽️🍸

Service is what 👍👏🏽🍀😊🙏

Instills purpose

Takes hold and

Leads

Towards individual and collective wellness 🍀👍🎼👏🏽🌟

With much love 🍀

The intention of my writing today is to inform my readers of the essence of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is about

1. Maintaining a balance between varying emotions amidst the course of our life time ( aaah yes😬😀🌟) and then

2. Being able to communicate to our fellow humans in a way that is mutually effective and constructive – across spectrum of life events and experiences ..

3. Using social skills – the ability to get along with everyone – at any given moment when when things aren’t going my or your way

Am writing this from my home town of Coimbatore – it’s been great being here – wonderful to see my mother and whanau after 3 years – few of my friends and then the fun and the rest 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟❤️

What caught my attention is that the ever changing fabric of society –

the social – cultural – political influence that has an impact on our belief systems and the choices we make each day ☀️

Our genetic make up maybe a primary component – of who we are

But it is each of our individual and shared experiences that takes predominance in the making of each of us

Emotionally intelligent or emotionally insensitive

Socially adept or awkward

Being effective or being brash

Yet what brings a smile is ….. fascinating aspect of society lies in it”s inconsistency – encapsulated by the plethora of differences – a sound attribute of emotional intelligence lies in accepting that it takes all sorts to make the world go round 😁🙏

Finishing with an Obama quote that caught my eye – Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world -🌟❤️

Greetings to you all …. With the advent of April we see the world transitioning into different seasons . For those of us living in the Southern Hemisphere the autumnal air has brought with it the rain and much needed reprieve from the heat of the relentless summer …

The intention of today’s writing is to share the depth of work done by one of the artists who had displayed his unique piece on the Waiheke sculpture trail.

The work was titled solidarity – the art show cased group of humans standing – with purpose – with unity – kinship – connection .

I was fascinated that the artist had created each of the figures as they individually stand tall – proud and strong –

They seemed to be standing alone yet their poise -reflected a the sense of connection to their core selves while simultaneously highlighting the strength that comes with belonging — purpose and togetherness

As a practitioner I affirm for my clients to stay connected to their core selves- this is about knowing what we like what we don’t like and identifying values that aspire us to feel think and do better

Connection to our core selves paves the way for kinship to others –

Value based connection to our core selves allows to bring in the right kind of people into our lives –

Where we then strive towards

Greater Good

Shared vision

Kinship

Wellness

Collective goodness

Unity

Sense of Purpose

Solidarity

Wellness

Maoridom celebrates the spirit of solidarity as Kotahitanga – and I am delighted to share my thoughts with you all

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to visit this sculpture trail – and I highly recommend the experience as truly gratifying🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

Insight from the sculpture trail ….

The highlight of my weekend in Waiheke was about indulging in the aesthetic delights….

The intention of my writing today is to affirm the practice of delighting in the senses using a mindful approach

To delight in the senses – is about taking notice of what we see, the sounds we hear , the sensation of touch ,taking in the smells -and engaging with our taste buds .

It is also about creating space to reflect on what matters most in the present moment

It is to affirm a closeness to the core of who we are and what we take with gratitude or give with compassion on any given moment

It is to understand that the presence is a gift

Now about the sculpture trail
What caught my eye – on that trip had much to do with my mahi or work….

One of the artist’s had amazingly carved out his work to depict the healing that comes when seeking mental wellness through therapy … it’s about letting someone into your personal space – your head within . It’s about trusting – sharing – reflecting – exploring – implementing and then allowing the light for healing

This piece of work symbolizes the courage and bravery of those who allow to open their vulnerabilities – and seek help to become better versions of themselves

I felt blessed to be able to enjoy this piece of work and I as meandered through the walk with my cherished friend – I felt an overpowering sense of humility , honour and wellness to be working in the realm of mental Health

Please take time to
Smell the roses
See the stars
Touch a leaf or flower or tree
Hear the birds and
Taste an apple
And /or
Take a seat
Wear a smile
Delight in the flow of your breath
And /or
Go for a walk – enjoy the cool air
The morning”s sun
The chill of the breeze and
And
Give thanks for today

In my next blog I will write on another piece of work on that sculpture trail

Ma te wa for now🍀

Kia Ora to my dear readers,

Greetings to you all on this day of March. I have not been able to engage in this creative pursuit for reasons both personal and work related ….

I lost my dear aunt in the past week and the events leading to her passing had left me pensive sad and thoughtful. My work kept me buzzing on…..

In today`s post I will write down what I remember of my aunt – and then will also share 3 trauma related facts from the professional training and the books that have inspired me.

In the work that I do I speak of values and the significance of staying connected – connected to ourselves and to those in our lives and the community we serve ….

1. What I remember of my aunt

“Be Grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond” ….Rumi

Love is a value that I hold close to my heart – love is about celebrating-  Belonging, Connections and Safety.

My beloved aunt who I lost last week – embodied this in the way she connected to– her immediate and extended circle. I remember her zest for life , for her beauty , her vivacious spirit, love for pets, bright smile, warm greetings, robust conversations, amazing embroidery, tongue in cheek comments, lots of ice cream, countless sleepovers – mini getaways, yummiest of black forest cakes and the best of home cooked food. Growing up, we ushered in each year with so much laughter and fun- she helped us experience the best of New Year togetherness . My cousins and I will ever cherish the hospitality, the love and warmth and time that she generously showered on us.

Us -my cousins and I were children ranging from the oldest being 11 to the youngest being 1-2 years of age. Children do as they see –through my aunt`s hospitality and warmth -we as children experienced belonging, connections and safety -she taught each of us ways of celebrating love , belonging and togetherness.  This will be my aunt`s rich legacy.

I am forever proud and grateful for having had this in my life and today my heart feels full with the promise that I will go on to emanate the same values ……to bring back cheer to my grieving spirit and plentiful light to my aunt`s beautiful smile and spirit that has passed on…

(ii)  Trauma related facts

Human mind is complex and the very foundation  of human needs is built on  feeling safe

Dan Siegel- “The human mind is a relational and embodied process that regulates the flow of energy and information”

• Need to feel safe

Why : Our brain works best when we feel safe ; our brain has two components – the feeling brain or the stem and the thinking brain which is the cortical region of the brain. The feeling brain is primitive and the thinking brain is rational. The feeling brain has to be in a good place for the thinking brain to work at it`s best !

• Need to feel cared – need for healthy connections with community n culture

When we feel safe , our feeling brain can release feel good hormones which helps us to think clearly

When we feel safe and when we feel care, we can take in thoughts that are conducive to our personal and professional growth

When we feel safe, we have a good sense of connection to ourselves – and we are able to choose what is good for us

When we feel safe – we have a sense of clarity and purpose

When we feel safe – we engage in actions that are good for us and for those around

• Need to develop coping strategies for managing turbulent emotions

Despite feeling safe there will be times where things don’t  go as planned

So as humans 😊 we need to develop the practice of emotional regulation – through Breathwork, exercise , talking to people we trust,

Engaging in or listening to music or

Journaling or reflection

Being absorbed in creative pursuits that are calming, repetitive and soothing

Practising emotional regulation is a way of calming the feeling brain ;

helps to exercise the brain stem

It keeps us centred

It gives us anchoring

It gives us comfort and helps is to develop a

Safe Inner working model

Practising  emotional regulation has  to become a conscious  everyday activity

So, my dear readers, what activity are you choosing for today for your dose of emotional regulation

“Happiness is something that you bring to life”- Wayne Dyer

Much love

Kia Ora my dear readers,

I hope you are enjoying the warm rain that brought some cool reprieve from the relentless heat

Today I am sharing my thoughts on integrity –as integrity happens to be an inherent aspect of wellness.

What is integrity

Integrity is about being  led by principles that are good for the self and for those around – it is about doing what feels right in your spirit.

The rationale for me to write on this topic is because very often, we are in conflict between choosing what our heart desires and our head dictates – we are contemplating on what we should / must do versus what we actually aspire to do and what feels right for us This conflict is bound to make us tense and sometimes this conflict can push us towards feel disconnected from our core beliefs.

Integrity is about being true to our beliefs- our values – where our feelings and actions are perfectly aligned with our thoughts.

Integrity also is about honoring the self and being true to what feels right for you. It is about being fair and being sound in the choices you make; when we follow rules of integrity we feel a sense of contentment– we feel true to ourselves – we feel brave and we feel the spirit of connection and there is a sense of seamlessness in each of our actions.

When we choose integrity as a value,

We expand the scope of our happiness

Are more purpose driven

We feel empowered

We choose actions that resonate with truth  

And Honour

We welcome plentiful  moments that resonates with

Joy Peace and Contentment

“ Peace is your home, Integrity is the way to it and everything you long for will meet you there…” Martha Beck

I have enjoyed connecting with you all through this blog ….. wishing you much joy and love  

The intention for this piece of writing stems from the philosophy that each day is meant to be lived with purpose -and contentment . Choosing a theme for the day or the week or the year – gives one a verbal and visual cue- it becomes an anchor during the times things go wayward ….choosing a theme helps us to feel connected to ourselves .

Greetings to you all as the first week of 2022 – the first week seems to have gone in a flash….. I pondered on what I would start my blog for this year….and then stuck to my decision that I will be writing about choosing a theme for the day- the week or the year. Today`s writing resonates with some of the thoughts expressed in my previous blog….

The predominant themes that is going to be with me for this year – I choose love and safety

Love as in showing kindness, care – being there for the people who need you or delighting in doing the things you enjoy , taking in the delights that the world richly offers and being absorbed by the unique experience that comes to us in any given moment .

“Love is not affectionate feeling – but a steady wish for the loved person`s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”- C,S,Lewis

Safety is a value that reminds us of what is right and what is legal – safety has the inherent aspect of trust and wisdom -with safety comes right thoughts – right feelings and actions that are good for the self and those around ….. Safety helps us to use a calmer – rational- kinder approach.

What theme would you choose for this week and why ??

How would your actions speak for the themes that you choose??

Some recommendations about making a start …..:)_

Allocate time and space to think about the theme you choose – it could be safety , fun, love ,trust , fitness , punctuality …. the list could go on.

Choose 1 or 2

Put the themes into action -make little notes to yourself

Talk about it – experience it – and this will eventually set the pace and tone for how you live your best life day after day

I have also captured a couple of my quick illustrations to go with today`s writing

Wishing you all a safe 2022 with much love

” Just one small positive thoiight in the morning can change your whole day”- Dalai Lama

Kia Ora dear readers,

“Your habits become your values and your values become your destiny”- Mahatma Gandhi

Today I am writing about the significance of using values for our day today living and giving.

The core purpose of how we live is defined by the values we choose to hold close to our hearts

The values we hold close to our hearts gives us a sense of connectedness to ourselves.

Having values imbibes our lives with purpose.

Values inspires us to have social connections that are meaningful.

It is the values that we cherish that defines and inspire us to give back to the community.

Through giving back to the community we find purpose and

Purpose inspires us to serve and do our best

and with service comes fulfillment.

Here are my values – Empathy, Safety, Love and Service

I slept and dreamt that life was joy-I awoke and saw that life was service -I acted and behold service was joy- Rabindranath Tagore

How do we pick our values….?

Choose the things you love to do …. and be aware of things that motivate you

Be aware of individual strengths and weaknesses

Be proud of your/our strengths and show acceptance and patience towards your/ our own weaknesses

Remember things and moments that brought a smile

Read Biographies or blogs on those who have done well for themselves…. and

Be observant of what has worked for them

Always strive to be in the company of those who bring calm, joy, sense of peace and connectedness

Begin to engage in activities that engage you and then gradually fill up your day with a set of tasks or activities that add fun and meaning to your life.

Make this an everyday habit.

Finishing my writing with Thoreau`s words – It is the beauty within us that makes it possible for us to recognize the beauty around us.”

Have a joyful weekend ….much love

Insight into Self-Care

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What does this mean – it is our ability to show unconditional compassion and kindness towards ourselves- during the times we need it. It is that willingness to allocate time and connect to the core of who we are – with our strengths, weaknesses – capabilities and failings. It involves using precious time for self-inquiry- healing and growth

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Why is this  important

It is an essential responsibility for each of us to allocate time for self-care; this is challenging for some of us as we have children in tow and / or work pressures mounting. It almost feels impossible amidst the ever growing chores / duties within each of our setting- whether we live with families or co-habitat as couples or strive through flat mate challenges or brave our way through singledom.

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“See If You Can Give Yourself Gifts That May Be True Blessings, Such As Self-Acceptance” – Jon Kabat Zinn

Self-care-allows for insight into self-respect

By allocating time for ourselves – we have a better sense of understanding who we really are

What inspires or motivates

What feels comforting

What makes us shy away or

What makes us uncomfortable

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It makes us more aware of our sensory needs

Colours that delight us

Tastes and smells that take us by surprise

Seasons that bring us calm and sights that make us grateful

There is also a wisdom that comes with self- care

It makes us mindful of values we cherish

Inspires us to live by principles we wish to emanate

Goals  we intend to achieve

And pathways that work best for each of us

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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