Greetings on the last day of 2022- hope it has been a year that saw each of you through the happy and not so happy times. This year has been good one for me, despite having lost a much-loved aunt too soon. For me I also embraced with goodness and gratitude, that I was able to fly down to India to be with my family and my friends. This year 2022 marked the beginning of the post pandemic era- allowed for travel, connections and reunions.

As I finished my walk with my dearly beloved Olive at the most beautiful and lush green Cornwall Park, I made a note to myself to check in with you all. The topic that I write today is about making peace in letting go of connections that no longer serve a purpose. This issue is something that we all encounter at some point in our lives.

How do we know when relationships no longer serve a purpose

So, you might query, how do we know when relationships no longer serve a purpose – We know that by how we tend to feel in the company of some ; connections are meant to lift us up and make us feel lighter and not the other way around.  Here are some guidelines or cues that you might instinctively feel

• Relationship always seem to be one sided
• There is no longer a rapport that you once shared
• You tend to have some comments thrown your way that make you feel at a loss
• An element of control – where your movements or activities are questioned
• You feel judged
• You no longer feel heard or understood
• There`s no evidence of lightness in your connection
• Everything always seems arduous

In my journey thus far, the most valuable learning that I am keen to share is that the core function of the brain is relational– so…. The quality of our personal wellbeing and social life is much much much dependent on the company we keep and the connections we make.

Some brainfacts: I have referred to this in my previous blogs the brain is connected to the head – it helps us think, the brain is connected to our heart (so its vital that we keep up with company that delights us and warms our spirit). The brain s also connected to our gut- so if you are in company of some that get your feelings to go down south then the impact of those emotions, also hit the gut. So be mindful and take personal responsibility in setting boundaries and / or letting go.

Letting go of some connections can be daunting – there is also a certain sense of fear and ambiguity in setting those boundaries or making a decision to completely let go , for – many a times these are folks who might have known you for an incredibly long time . And that can be quite an inhibiting factor or a barrier

But please do believe that it can be done and the reward is most gratifying🍀😊🌟🌟☀️

 As you go through the process

Be patient with yourself

Check in with your inner value system

Learn to tell yourself that the intention here is to

Honour the self, the values that you cherish and to

Walk towards the vision that each of us have , for the

The ultimate need is to give, to connect and to serve

Each of us can do this – in little ways or large ways

So, it is perfectly okay to

Let go of what no longer aligns with your vision and allows you to serve with purpose…

Here`s to new beginnings –that  lifts your wairua , warms your heart , lightens your gait  

Wishing you all an amazing 2023 !🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟💚

Kia Ora dear readers as we begin to feel the breath of the sinner month -…. although , for the past week the sun seems to have taken an indecisive stance 😳☀️😊 ….

Much of the work that I do is about helping clients to think better , feel better and do better which is not always easy . Emotions play a huge role in how we think – how we feel and what we do …

So what does one do when feelings and emotions take over abd when things feel incredibly tough and the journey becomes arduous .….

Here is the step by step process

Name the feeling

Acknowledge the feeling – lean into it

Use self talk to say “ I am feeling sad or I am feeling exhausted or it can also be I am feeling angry

Lean into the feeling as you use self talk

Then stay with that feeling

Be incredibly gentle and patient with yourself

Give yourself a time limit to stay with that sadness – it can be 5 min or 20 min ….

However then remind yourself that it is okay to feel that way I do – I am now going to do the next best thing for myself and then choose to do something kind or creative or constructive and you will notice that the feelings will begin to wane and you will make the shift to a happier place

Being kind to yourself can look like choosing to make yourself a hot drink or a warm meal or be in the midst of something or someone that fills you will kindness and compassion 🥗🍀👯

Being creative looks like making a meal or drawing a picture or writing a kind note to yourself 🖌️🖼️

Being constructive looks like talking to a friend – making a list of your goals or taking a walk or reading a book 📚

Wishing you all a wonderful Tuesday – here’s to more kindness , more creativity and steps towards constructive living ☘️🌟

Much love