To my dear readers

Hope you are working on/ towards your individual wellness …. The insight that comes from working through your/ our challenges is that – it allows us to be more in tune and connected to the things, the people and the experiences that helped in getting thus far .

I am now on travel mode to be with my family and friends in India and also to complete some mahi (work ) that needs to be done here. My purpose as an advocate for wellness and the luxury of time are factors that have inspired me to write today. The intention for today’s post is to share principles of acceptance that help toward betterment of our emotional states

The universal law is that all of us experience / face some challenges at any given time . How we respond to these challenges is what matters . I learnt about a clever formula that applies al time . This is how it goes

Event + Response = impacts the outcome ☘️

When we experience difficulties we are overcome by surge of emotions – thoughts abd feelings . Not knowing yo manage these feelings can result in tending to ways that are unhealthy and unsafe – such as addictions to food / alcohol , irritability , procrastination abd a generic feeling of unrest abd disease-. The trick lies in learning to manage these feelings and emotions

An easy formula from Dr. Russ Harris is using the ACE method

Acknowledge : your thoughts and feelings – wheh reminded of the event – name your thoughts and feelings

Connect : to your body – be aware of changes that you feel – address the sensations abd calm using touch – hold your palms together – give yourself a brief Pat abd check in

Engage : Engage with what gives you comfort or distraction from right where you are …. Look around for colours that you see . Think of and look for words that fill you with calm and sounds that resonate with peace – ( use a bell , the sound of birds abd music that takes you to a different place …) ; if you are a nature lover feel the texture of pebbles and take notice of smells that are nurturing and tastes that gives comfort … hold on to objects memories and experiences that remind you of safety , wellness and peace .

& let’s teach ourselves to do this repeatedly 😊🍀

With much love 💕

Dear readers,

The intention of today`s post is to share my thoughts on loneliness – it is probably less spoken about than it should be – yet we all experience ” feeling lonely” or dealing with the stoicism that comes when living by oneself. In the work that I do, I hear from people in all age groups – young , middle-aged, senior and all walks of life who experience feeling alone from time to time,

Loneliness is also a universal human emotion – we feel it when our children have left and are independent ; we feel it when we move to a new place or a new country and there is also loneliness experienced in unhappy relationships .

It is okay to feel alone or lonely – this is a phase of life. It is not okay however, to feel this way all of the time,

Why ??? – we as humans are social creatures and we thrive when we recognise that the core function of our brains and heart is relational – it is about seeking out and forming connections that allow us to flourish and being in relationships that help us thrive – give , share , love , know and be known.

For those, who are apprehensive about forming those connections here are some small steps to develop a sense of belonging and connection – where you can slowly explore being a part of a group. It can be a book club, a walking group , a yoga practice or a singing group -this is a small stepping stone that facilitates belonging and connection

Fostering connectedness with family , friends who you have made and known through work or study and meeting with people you have met through shared interests and making this a regular part of your life is another way of nurturing relational connectedness

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being known and understood by those whom we share a close connection adds dollops of wellness – for some the close connection is a spouse and for many others the close connection comes from family- it maybe be your children , your parents or extended family – or friends who replace family. Being known and understood is nurturing and validates a basic need that allows for resilience and growth .

What are some ways to bring in the right kind of people into your social and immediate circle

The principles that I have written about in my previous blogs come to play here too

Know your self really well – do a flow chart on your strengths and weaknesses

Identify 3 values that are close to your heart – it can be – kindness, respect, love , compassion, honesty…..

Check in with yourself as to how you practise those values on you/ self and on those around you

Participate in activities , volunteer in places where you get to implement these values

The more you do this – you will see – a connectedness with your self

The more connected you are with yourself , you allow for like minded people to become your friends…….your connections and your lifelong cheerleaders

I have learnt that to be with those I like is enough ……- Walt Whitman