Kia Ora to my dear readers,
Greetings to you all on this day of March. I have not been able to engage in this creative pursuit for reasons both personal and work related ….
I lost my dear aunt in the past week and the events leading to her passing had left me pensive sad and thoughtful. My work kept me buzzing on…..
In today`s post I will write down what I remember of my aunt – and then will also share 3 trauma related facts from the professional training and the books that have inspired me.
In the work that I do I speak of values and the significance of staying connected – connected to ourselves and to those in our lives and the community we serve ….
- What I remember of my aunt
“Be Grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond” ….Rumi
Love is a value that I hold close to my heart – love is about celebrating- Belonging, Connections and Safety.
My beloved aunt who I lost last week – embodied this in the way she connected to– her immediate and extended circle. I remember her zest for life , for her beauty , her vivacious spirit, love for pets, bright smile, warm greetings, robust conversations, amazing embroidery, tongue in cheek comments, lots of ice cream, countless sleepovers – mini getaways, yummiest of black forest cakes and the best of home cooked food. Growing up, we ushered in each year with so much laughter and fun- she helped us experience the best of New Year togetherness . My cousins and I will ever cherish the hospitality, the love and warmth and time that she generously showered on us.
Us -my cousins and I were children ranging from the oldest being 11 to the youngest being 1-2 years of age. Children do as they see –through my aunt`s hospitality and warmth -we as children experienced belonging, connections and safety -she taught each of us ways of celebrating love , belonging and togetherness. This will be my aunt`s rich legacy.
I am forever proud and grateful for having had this in my life and today my heart feels full with the promise that I will go on to emanate the same values ……to bring back cheer to my grieving spirit and plentiful light to my aunt`s beautiful smile and spirit that has passed on…
(ii) Trauma related facts
Human mind is complex and the very foundation of human needs is built on feeling safe
Dan Siegel- “The human mind is a relational and embodied process that regulates the flow of energy and information”
- Need to feel safe
Why : Our brain works best when we feel safe ; our brain has two components – the feeling brain or the stem and the thinking brain which is the cortical region of the brain. The feeling brain is primitive and the thinking brain is rational. The feeling brain has to be in a good place for the thinking brain to work at it`s best !
- Need to feel cared – need for healthy connections with community n culture
When we feel safe , our feeling brain can release feel good hormones which helps us to think clearly
When we feel safe and when we feel care, we can take in thoughts that are conducive to our personal and professional growth
When we feel safe, we have a good sense of connection to ourselves – and we are able to choose what is good for us
When we feel safe – we have a sense of clarity and purpose
When we feel safe – we engage in actions that are good for us and for those around
- Need to develop coping strategies for managing turbulent emotions
Despite feeling safe there will be times where things don’t go as planned
So as humans 😊 we need to develop the practice of emotional regulation – through Breathwork, exercise , talking to people we trust,
Engaging in or listening to music or
Journaling or reflection
Being absorbed in creative pursuits that are calming, repetitive and soothing
Practising emotional regulation is a way of calming the feeling brain ;
helps to exercise the brain stem
It keeps us centred
It gives us anchoring
It gives us comfort and helps is to develop a
Safe Inner working model
Practising emotional regulation has to become a conscious everyday activity
So, my dear readers, what activity are you choosing for today for your dose of emotional regulation
“Happiness is something that you bring to life”- Wayne Dyer