Live, Love, Serve | May ,2024 | 6/05/2024

“ Our greatest glory is not in never failing , but in rising up every time we fail”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Greetings to you all,

Have loved the recent autumnal weather … as I pondered about what to write about that might add value to your wellness, I was reminded of one of my recent reads, by Adam Grant;  the book is called Hidden Potential.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

“ When failing becomes part of the plan it hurts less” – Adam Grant

I choose to share snippets from this cleverly crafted book as it has relevance to the ethos of the whakatauki that I use in my day to day life and work– aha koa iti he pounamu

i.e. – despite our vulnerabilities, each of us have the ability to fly high……

Key ideas from the book

Our Personalities – how we might think, feel and act – is dependent upon how we our conditioned to respond to different circumstances / experiences right from our developmental years.

Character is our capacity to prioritize our values – over our instincts.

“If personality is how you respond on a typical day, character is how you respond on a hard day.”

Strength of Character does not happen in ease – character evolves …. when we learn to face discomfort, learn to embrace what is not easy. It is about being brave enough to embrace discomfort.

For example, incorporating exercise or learning a skill or taking part on a challenge – signing up for something new – can be daunting….

Sustaining motivation can happen by

Showing up for oneself,

Making the time

Taking small steps of courage and

keeping at it –  is what matters ….

Progress does not necessarily have to be linear – even when you are stuck – do not give up – keep embracing discomfort, try new styles and keep going –

Be consistent

One day

To look back to smile

how far we have travelled …..😉

“ Happiness is not something ready made – it comes from our own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Meanwhile I am curious to see and hear about – what each of you`d like to take up as a new challenge to tap into your hidden potential ….

With much love☘️☀️

LIVE /LOVE /SERVE

April 2024

To my dear readers,

Wishing you all a very good Sunday and a constructive week ahead  !!! I am grateful to have completed an 8k walk in the beautiful autumnal weather that we currently have in the  Southern Hemisphere. I hope that each of you add a dollop more of wellness by engaging in some form of movement ….

Today`s writing is about working through our emotional barriers / triggers by recognising emotional styles/ pattern and identifying our own emotional styles

Being aware – Knowing our emotional styles/ pattern and identifying our own emotional style integral / essential to be able to work through our emotional barriers.

Within the context of emotions – we can work through  our common emotional vulnerabilities / sensibilities and transform those into high quality valuable emotional experiences.

Being conscious of our own emotional states can be empowering – paves way for skills to navigate through the barriers. By not being conscious of our emotional styles, there is a tendency to feel captive, immobilised and triggered by emotions that remind us of past experiences

Our emotional styles are highly individualised –

Each of our emotional styles are dependent upon our history, parenting styles we grew up with or exposure to various circumstances that either made us feel excluded, abandoned or vulnerable

So, each of us as individuals have a predisposition towards feeling varying levels of vulnerabilities.

Hence recognising understanding our patterns of feelings and belief systems is crucial to emotional growth and for progression into resilience.

What are ways that we can work through these emotional barriers??

Teaching ourselves to rephrase that we do not give into those feelings and emotions that remind us of what was troublesome in the past

Teaching ourselves to use words that gently shift our belief systems into the present

Believing in possibilities that are light , meaningful and joyous

Holding on to values such as kindness, service , trust and patience that resonates with healing and resilience

Recognising that emotions are just data- of what we have experienced or experiencing.

Using affirming words to to infirm our thinking that “our feelings remind us of the past – we do not need to give into it “.It is about educating ourselves that rephrasing our thoughts and thinking – that we are in the now

Recognising that when we operate with painful emotions – our feelings our impacted and this works through our emotional body / psychology and then the physical body/ physiology

Recognising your emotional style is an important process towards moving through and past your emotional barriers

Next time you have an uncomfortable emotion – work on….

1. Creating a safe space for yourself to go into it
2. Using the acronym STOP – Stop, Take 3 deep breaths, Observe your feelings, thoughts, sensations in your body and Proceed with compassion
3. Writing down your feelings or engaging in movement – breathwork or art can be liberating.
4. Taking help to go into the emotions – without ignoring it 
5. Working on scripts that include affirmations that resonate with self-worth, validation and resilience.

“Whenever you are able to observe your mind, you are no longer trapped in it.– Eckhart Tolle

Dear readers ,

As we begin to move through to March of this year – I am excited to share snippets of a brilliant book called Transformation by James Gordon – ☀️🍀

I am loving the read as the author highlights on healing pathways and wellness journeys . He highlights that the impact of trauma does not have to be permanent -draws light on engaging in activities that allow for movement, creativity and breath work . 🧘‍♀️💃🕺🎨🖌️🖼️

The author coins the term “expressive meditation” – to elaborate on the benefits of engaging in movement that is relaxing , art that can bring in more awareness and breath work that facilitates better mind and body wellness ⭐️🌸

Expressive meditation is spontaneous and liberating as it is not set within time frames – neither is it goal based . The objectives of expressive meditation include relaxation , awareness and expression.🎨🖌️🌻

A. Relaxation : When we embrace any form of art or movement based activity – we work on engaging in the moment for the purpose of enjoyment of art or the movement – so we relax – relaxation allows doe the nervous system to feel calm – we allow for feelings of safety and wellness within our bodies. 🌸😊

B. Awareness : breath work and movement allows one to experience and observe emotions . By learning to observe emotions we work on using thinking skills , whilst simultaneously engaging with activities that allow for safety and wellness . There is better acceptance of context without the threat of being caught in repetitive cycle of thoughts ☀️🍀🤗

C. Expression : Is about finding ways to process out painful experiences – through art or writing . It involves a cathartic process – writing , movement and drawing allows us to create space between us and our emotional experiences . Finding solace through constructive expression facilitates one to feel lighter and clearer – The word cathartic has its origin from the Greek word ‘cleansing “🙌🌻

Some more about

Expressive meditation

⁃ includes dance , yoga , writing any form of visual art, and breath work .

⁃ Increases feel good hormones or neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine

⁃ Creates new cells within the hippocampus area of the brain that helps with thinking , memory and executive functioning

⁃ Decreases anxiety – improves mood and affect

⁃ Works as a robust preventative measure against depression

⁃ Improves sleep patterns and

⁃ Offers capacity towards improved focus and

⁃ Empowers one with resilience

As I close i aspire for each of you to find solace in some form of art , creativity or movement that adds more mind body wellness and embrace safety each day every day 🌻⭐️☀️

For those of us in the southern hemisphere we are still holding on the delightful remnants of the summer skies 🌻🙏

Much love

Live, Love, Serve | Feb ,2024 | 6/2/2024

Greetings to you all,

Hope you are enjoying ALL of today 😊🍀

” To have made even one person`s life a little better, that is to succeed” – Henry David Thoreau

On a personal note, the year unfolded with some tricky turns that included having a visit from the covid virus and also sustaining a foot injury. Both of these have not been pleasant – however I diligently take count of the positives too – a habit that influences my thoughts and actions on a personal and professional level. One such positive is that I find joy and meaning in sharing information and knowledge that has been of use to me 🙏🌻

The inspiration for today`s writing comes from one of my favorite reads Build the life you want …. The book is founded upon science based information – I choose to share some of the snippets from this amazing book as it has relevance to the ethos of my blog – i.e. to do the things that give us more joy, more wellness and to increase feelings of safety- each day – every day☀️🙌

There are events and occurrences that happen to us  each day that impacts on our emotions. We do have positive emotions and negative emotions. Positive emotions include happiness, excitement, joy among many such others that make us feel light and buoyant. Negative emotions include sadness, anger, fear and resentment. Research indicates that negative emotions have more powerful influence on our physiology / physical wellness and psychology / mental wellness.

Building habits that add structure  and meaning to our lives gives agency towards positive emotions

The 3 habits that can improve your wellness are

Reading: Take up the habit of reading Find something to read about – it could be about an area interest to you or it could be going back to reading one of your favorite bools/ Inculcate a habit of reading for 15 minutes every day. Take up a topic that interest you – and become committed to the habit of reading – Keep a timer if need be – stick to the reading each day every day !!

Contemplative Self work: Begin the habit of reflective practice – you may use this through writing or through meditative practice. Meditative practice might be tricky for some of us – so instead begin to write your thoughts – ad do this for 15 minutes. You may write on your interests , your feelings, things that you are good at and things that you wish to improve on. Here you might also wish to include the things you are grateful for …. the writing habit will also inform you and give insights about the self . Try working on self work for 15 minutes each day – every day

Physical exercise: Incorporate exercise into your everyday living – through sport, through walking or joining gym. Do this everyday.  Exercise is the  primary form of self-regulation and brings in feelings of calm and wellbeing – Exercise calms the brain stem and it is powerful in the way it transforms our physical and emotional wellness – Begin now and aim for 15-20 min each day every day …..

Take good care –💚☀️

With much love

Dearest readers,

Greetings to you all for the month of December – and we are here now at the last month of 2023. The month felt solemn as I said an unexpected goodbye to my precious Fern –a Golden retriever who had joined our family more than 12 years ago.

I am still sad and perhaps never would have been ready to say farewell. The remnants of sadness might always be there…. However, ….!

Fern has been most gentle, affirming and loving companion anyone could ever wish for … am so grateful for the joy, love and the plentiful abundance that came with having Fern as my pet and cherished member of my home and family.

On the same note the intention for today`s writing is to share the power of gratitude

Gratitude serves as an anchor an internal compass of wisdom

Hones our awareness around the things we enjoy, anticipate and cherish

Paves the way for more of what feels light – easy and joyful

Strengthens our resolve to look at the bright side and

Nudges us to choose the wellness script –

Our cup is half full and all is well …

Take some time to look back at the past 12 months

Write down the highs – make note of the lows too

Give thanks to moments that made you smile- promise more of it to you

Acknowledge moments and memories that were difficult

Write down the teaching points from the difficult moments that are now thankfully in the Past

Learn from it – be in the now –prioritise and take action – Be Present

Now affirm your wisdom, give thanks and keep moving towards immense amazing possibilities for the Future

Have a light hearted, loving and delightful festive season

Much love

Intention : To my dear readers – hope you are making the most of the rain by engaging in some form of self care that brings in the smile …… The intention of this post is to elaborate on pathways towards healing from trauma …. What inspired my writing today – This piece of my writing  stems from some of  queries that I have had from the people I work with – is  trauma permanent ??or am I going to be ok – will I always feel this way…….. and the answer is of course not ….. Evidence based research indicates that following through with our healing journey , getting support and and working on ourselves consistently leads to Post traumatic growth or Post traumatic wisdom

Pathways to healing

Healing from trauma comes from owning our stories

Owning our stories helps us to get rid of feelings shame and guilt which are fear based responses characteristic of trauma….

Pathways can become clearer when we foster an understanding of how our brain works

Our brain stem (the primitive brain) or the autonomous nervous system has an inherent need to feel safe – self -regulation or learning to calm the brain stem happens when we engage in physical exercise

The more we engage in activities that make us feel safe and  bring us calm the faster the pace of healing

While the impact pf trauma is long lasting it need not be permanent.

Our critical or the thinking brain has the ability to change – the change is dependent on the kind of activities we engage with , supportive  people that we meet work and healthy habits that we inculcate in our day to day living

Develop a rhythm in your day to day living – Routine , predictability and adding structure to our day brings in healing

“The roots of health are rhythm and regulation. When you mix in attentive, responsive, and nurturing caregiving, the roots and trunk of our brain’s Tree of Regulation are being organized” – Dr.Bruce Perry

Keep a check on feelings that include sadness, anger and fear – talk to people who are supportive- whenever possible read , listen to music, dabble with art and connect with nature

Thoughts , feelings and actions are connected – so learning to keep a check on the nature of thoughts is conducive to healing – Keeping a schedule and setting a programme of what we do each day helps in keeping thoughts light and positive. – be loving and kind to yourself ALWAYS

” If you have the ability to love , love yourself first” – David Brooks

Fill up your day with activities that bring in meaning , contentment and joy

Address any emotional pain through seeking help –it takes courage to ask for help

Work with supportive people around values that add meaning to your life – values can be service , kindness , safety , love , honesty

Find reasons to connect with those who practise your values – find ways of connecting with people who show an understanding of who you are – find ways of being heard and seen – this can happen by joining groups / clubs to play sport , go for walks or read books.

Volunteer when you can – engage with empathy ; pets are great for healing too.

Engage in activities where you practise kindness, love and affirmations on self

Practise writing affirmations – maintain a visual journal or an art journal that makes your smile

Give thanks to little things that light you up – the sun, the stars or a smile from a friend

The more we show patience kindness and love to self ,the greater the chance of connecting to others with patience and kindness and love

Post Traumatic Growth or Post Traumatic Wisdom happens- when we engage in the aforesaid repeatedly , we allow ourselves to heal, flourish and continue forth on our wellness journey ….

Hope with all sincerity that this writing brings you comfort and strength in all that you do today ….

With much love

Kia Ora everyone,

The long weekend was a welcome break for those of us in Aotearoa – the land of the long white cloud. The air was somehow warm and cool, as sun shone both bright and gentle- and there seemed to be an aura of kindness and mirth as the weekend unfolded. I had a few highlights – one being a walk exploring the mixed terrain of Karangahape gorge; a dinner catches up with my friends and then completing a good read. Of course as I finished the book, I made a note to myself that I will share snippets from what I read….

Rationale : the book is evidence based, the subject resonates close to the ethos of how I do life and work; I share with the intention that the points discussed here will add meaning and wellness to your personal and professional journeys….The authors are the erudite Arthur Brooks in collaboration with the esteemed Oprah Winfrey. Arthur teaches happiness at Harvard; Oprah`s resplendence is a testament – to how she is forever empowering and transforming herself and others to do their best in life.

A snippet of the key concepts

–          Carving a life that is about being happier – as we move through the phases of our lives

–          Being Happier is about knowing ourselves and our emotions truly well

– Accepting that unhappiness is an inherent aspect of our lives and moving forward by embracing emotions and choosing actions that bring us meaning joy, and sense of contentment; We all have aspects of our lives that have some level of unhappiness – the more one accepts the concept the more likely we allow for an increase in our adaptability and willingness in

– Instilling a sense of awareness to our thought processes – how we think – the nature of our thoughts – the thoughts to choose and thoughts to let go

–          Embracing and taking note of the positives

–          Remembering that faith, friends, family and work that serves a purpose are the pillars of life

– Holding on to a belief system or Faith – works like an anchor – allows you to step back and have perspective to things that happen sometimes – that is beyond our control

– Connecting to friends that create the social fabric that paves pathways to meaning and joy – Sharing and looking out for one another – the trick is about looking for real friends who turn up just for you!!

– Navigating with Family – the authors emphasise on the age- old notion we don`t get to choose the family; family also means tricky corners to navigate through conflict; but he says the price of love also is about holding on to those connections… whenever possible of course

–          Building purpose – Work – feeds our lives with meaning – it instils in us a sense of awareness

– Giving thanks to all that is good – celebrating gratitude is about adding to the wellness and “happier” quotient

–          Looking through a lens that goes beyond ourselves with the intention to share, to love, to believe, to belong and to build a Happier Us …

–

– So grateful for having read this book and my heart feels a little fuller in being able to share this with you all-💚🙏

Dear readers,

I am delighted to connect with you , in the beautiful month of September. Hope you have had a neat week, doing the things that give you meaning and joy. I have tried my best to develop a routine at the gym and I call this as a work in progress. Part of the inspiration for today’s post is from Dr.Peter Attia’s – wealth of information- a book called Outlive .

The intention of today’s post is to elaborate on ways that we can keep our balance and calm working towards better wellness

Feelings are impacted by a number of variables such as the events in the day , thoughts , memories, and also depends on the level of wellness that we feel in out body.

Feelings can also be impacted by what we eat – what we do and how we respond to the people , reminders and events that come by our way

Feelind are emotional -fluid , subjective, transient- go north or south depending on the occurrences of any given day. They have the potential to leave us tired , lost and overwhelmed .

Learning to manage our feelings can be done consciously . However it is not the case when things become too overwhelming.

An ideal way of managing feelings comes when we set a large window of calm or space and call it rightfully ours.

It is about making a regular habit of being in that space that feels safe – where we feel strong, true and well

About knowing ourselves really well – what we really like and what we want to get out from our day to day living

“The journey is not so much about becoming anything – maybe its about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”- Paulo Coelho

It is about working on activities that facilitate calm

1. Including some form of excercise every single day

2. Being informed that movement invites feelings of wellness

3. Maintaining a healthy diet

4. Accessing professional support to navigate through tricky thoughts and feelings

5. Having good sleep hygiene

6. Being informed that feelings influence thoughts and thoughts influence actions

7. Setting an intention for each day –

8. Having an awareness that exercise, creativity and intent – help in managing feelings

9. Having a routine

10. Making music a part of your routine

11. Choosing 2-3 values for example kindness, integrity and respect and using those values in all of your actions that you take up for the day

12. Being extra kind to self

13. And when low feelings creep up – do abrief check in and ask yourself – if those feelings serve a ourpose

14. Having a chosen number of people you trust and be choosy on who you invite into your safe space

15. Embracing acceptance

16. Knowing your strengths

17. Being unafraid of of what feels challenging

18. Asking for help

19. Taking up a hobby- reading , walking , pets, art

20. Taking small steps of courage

21. Being mindful that when you choose to live by your values – it is easier to keep moving head …,

Values stay with us

Values serve as an anchor

Values serve a Purpose

Values lead us to a life of contentment , Offer meaning and Help us move forward

Keeping the focus

On greater good

” Nothing beats kindness- it sits beyond all things “- Charlie Mackesy

Much love 💚

To my dear readers,

I am here briefly in India visiting family – I am grateful to have read a book that aligned with my interest in social connectedness , values and wellness

The intent of today’s post is to share with you perspectives that you might find useful in your wellness journey.

The book shares insight into principles of Adlerian psychology .

I felt compelled to share some insights into Adler’s principles for the following reasons

Human behaviour is socially embedded and has social meaning. This relates well to the evidence that the core function of our brain is relational

He emphasized the value of social relationships and in being connected to others. Working on connections that help us thrive increases the likelihood of us being emotionally healthy. What drew me to Adler’s framework was the focus on purpose and values . Working on chosen values allows for a life that is rich in purpose and meaning

I enjoyed his direction of categorizing our responsibilities as tasks –

Tasks for self

Tasks for work

Tasks for family / friends

Adler suggests working through the tasks based on our set of values and goodwill – so instead of seeking recognition he says “ do what suits you best according to your skills and values “

The teaching that stuck with me best- as much as social connections are , important we have to be led by our own values rather than always meeting the expectations of others 👏🏽😊

With aroha ,