Live, Love, Serve | Feb ,2024 | 6/2/2024

Greetings to you all,

Hope you are enjoying ALL of today 😊🍀

” To have made even one person`s life a little better, that is to succeed” – Henry David Thoreau

On a personal note, the year unfolded with some tricky turns that included having a visit from the covid virus and also sustaining a foot injury. Both of these have not been pleasant – however I diligently take count of the positives too – a habit that influences my thoughts and actions on a personal and professional level. One such positive is that I find joy and meaning in sharing information and knowledge that has been of use to me 🙏🌻

The inspiration for today`s writing comes from one of my favorite reads Build the life you want …. The book is founded upon science based information – I choose to share some of the snippets from this amazing book as it has relevance to the ethos of my blog – i.e. to do the things that give us more joy, more wellness and to increase feelings of safety- each day – every day☀️🙌

There are events and occurrences that happen to us  each day that impacts on our emotions. We do have positive emotions and negative emotions. Positive emotions include happiness, excitement, joy among many such others that make us feel light and buoyant. Negative emotions include sadness, anger, fear and resentment. Research indicates that negative emotions have more powerful influence on our physiology / physical wellness and psychology / mental wellness.

Building habits that add structure  and meaning to our lives gives agency towards positive emotions

The 3 habits that can improve your wellness are

Reading: Take up the habit of reading Find something to read about – it could be about an area interest to you or it could be going back to reading one of your favorite bools/ Inculcate a habit of reading for 15 minutes every day. Take up a topic that interest you – and become committed to the habit of reading – Keep a timer if need be – stick to the reading each day every day !!

Contemplative Self work: Begin the habit of reflective practice – you may use this through writing or through meditative practice. Meditative practice might be tricky for some of us – so instead begin to write your thoughts – ad do this for 15 minutes. You may write on your interests , your feelings, things that you are good at and things that you wish to improve on. Here you might also wish to include the things you are grateful for …. the writing habit will also inform you and give insights about the self . Try working on self work for 15 minutes each day – every day

Physical exercise: Incorporate exercise into your everyday living – through sport, through walking or joining gym. Do this everyday.  Exercise is the  primary form of self-regulation and brings in feelings of calm and wellbeing – Exercise calms the brain stem and it is powerful in the way it transforms our physical and emotional wellness – Begin now and aim for 15-20 min each day every day …..

Take good care –💚☀️

With much love

Dearest readers,

Greetings to you all for the month of December – and we are here now at the last month of 2023. The month felt solemn as I said an unexpected goodbye to my precious Fern –a Golden retriever who had joined our family more than 12 years ago.

I am still sad and perhaps never would have been ready to say farewell. The remnants of sadness might always be there…. However, ….!

Fern has been most gentle, affirming and loving companion anyone could ever wish for … am so grateful for the joy, love and the plentiful abundance that came with having Fern as my pet and cherished member of my home and family.

On the same note the intention for today`s writing is to share the power of gratitude

Gratitude serves as an anchor an internal compass of wisdom

Hones our awareness around the things we enjoy, anticipate and cherish

Paves the way for more of what feels light – easy and joyful

Strengthens our resolve to look at the bright side and

Nudges us to choose the wellness script –

Our cup is half full and all is well …

Take some time to look back at the past 12 months

Write down the highs – make note of the lows too

Give thanks to moments that made you smile- promise more of it to you

Acknowledge moments and memories that were difficult

Write down the teaching points from the difficult moments that are now thankfully in the Past

Learn from it – be in the now –prioritise and take action – Be Present

Now affirm your wisdom, give thanks and keep moving towards immense amazing possibilities for the Future

Have a light hearted, loving and delightful festive season

Much love

Intention : To my dear readers – hope you are making the most of the rain by engaging in some form of self care that brings in the smile …… The intention of this post is to elaborate on pathways towards healing from trauma …. What inspired my writing today – This piece of my writing  stems from some of  queries that I have had from the people I work with – is  trauma permanent ??or am I going to be ok – will I always feel this way…….. and the answer is of course not ….. Evidence based research indicates that following through with our healing journey , getting support and and working on ourselves consistently leads to Post traumatic growth or Post traumatic wisdom

Pathways to healing

Healing from trauma comes from owning our stories

Owning our stories helps us to get rid of feelings shame and guilt which are fear based responses characteristic of trauma….

Pathways can become clearer when we foster an understanding of how our brain works

Our brain stem (the primitive brain) or the autonomous nervous system has an inherent need to feel safe – self -regulation or learning to calm the brain stem happens when we engage in physical exercise

The more we engage in activities that make us feel safe and  bring us calm the faster the pace of healing

While the impact of trauma is long lasting it need not be permanent.

Our critical or the thinking brain has the ability to change – the change is dependent on the kind of activities we engage with , supportive  people that we meet work and healthy habits that we inculcate in our day to day living

Develop a rhythm in your day to day living – Routine , predictability and adding structure to our day brings in healing

“The roots of health are rhythm and regulation. When you mix in attentive, responsive, and nurturing caregiving, the roots and trunk of our brain’s Tree of Regulation are being organized” – Dr.Bruce Perry

Keep a check on feelings that include sadness, anger and fear – talk to people who are supportive- whenever possible read , listen to music, dabble with art and connect with nature

Thoughts , feelings and actions are connected – so learning to keep a check on the nature of thoughts is conducive to healing – Keeping a schedule and setting a programme of what we do each day helps in keeping thoughts light and positive. – be loving and kind to yourself ALWAYS

” If you have the ability to love , love yourself first” – David Brooks

Fill up your day with activities that bring in meaning , contentment and joy

Address any emotional pain through seeking help –it takes courage to ask for help

Work with supportive people around values that add meaning to your life – values can be service , kindness , safety , love , honesty

Find reasons to connect with those who practise your values – find ways of connecting with people who show an understanding of who you are – find ways of being heard and seen – this can happen by joining groups / clubs to play sport , go for walks or read books.

Volunteer when you can – engage with empathy ; pets are great for healing too.

Engage in activities where you practise kindness, love and affirmations on self

Practise writing affirmations – maintain a visual journal or an art journal that makes your smile

Give thanks to little things that light you up – the sun, the stars or a smile from a friend

The more we show patience kindness and love to self ,the greater the chance of connecting to others with patience and kindness and love

Post Traumatic Growth or Post Traumatic Wisdom happens- when we engage in the aforesaid repeatedly , we allow ourselves to heal, flourish and continue forth on our wellness journey ….

Hope with all sincerity that this writing brings you comfort and strength in all that you do today ….

With much love

Kia Ora everyone,

The long weekend was a welcome break for those of us in Aotearoa – the land of the long white cloud. The air was somehow warm and cool, as sun shone both bright and gentle- and there seemed to be an aura of kindness and mirth as the weekend unfolded. I had a few highlights – one being a walk exploring the mixed terrain of Karangahape gorge; a dinner catches up with my friends and then completing a good read. Of course as I finished the book, I made a note to myself that I will share snippets from what I read….

Rationale : the book is evidence based, the subject resonates close to the ethos of how I do life and work; I share with the intention that the points discussed here will add meaning and wellness to your personal and professional journeys….The authors are the erudite Arthur Brooks in collaboration with the esteemed Oprah Winfrey. Arthur teaches happiness at Harvard; Oprah`s resplendence is a testament – to how she is forever empowering and transforming herself and others to do their best in life.

A snippet of the key concepts

–          Carving a life that is about being happier – as we move through the phases of our lives

–          Being Happier is about knowing ourselves and our emotions truly well

– Accepting that unhappiness is an inherent aspect of our lives and moving forward by embracing emotions and choosing actions that bring us meaning joy, and sense of contentment; We all have aspects of our lives that have some level of unhappiness – the more one accepts the concept the more likely we allow for an increase in our adaptability and willingness in

– Instilling a sense of awareness to our thought processes – how we think – the nature of our thoughts – the thoughts to choose and thoughts to let go

–          Embracing and taking note of the positives

–          Remembering that faith, friends, family and work that serves a purpose are the pillars of life

– Holding on to a belief system or Faith – works like an anchor – allows you to step back and have perspective to things that happen sometimes – that is beyond our control

– Connecting to friends that create the social fabric that paves pathways to meaning and joy – Sharing and looking out for one another – the trick is about looking for real friends who turn up just for you!!

– Navigating with Family – the authors emphasise on the age- old notion we don`t get to choose the family; family also means tricky corners to navigate through conflict; but he says the price of love also is about holding on to those connections… whenever possible of course

–          Building purpose – Work – feeds our lives with meaning – it instils in us a sense of awareness

– Giving thanks to all that is good – celebrating gratitude is about adding to the wellness and “happier” quotient

–          Looking through a lens that goes beyond ourselves with the intention to share, to love, to believe, to belong and to build a Happier Us …

–

– So grateful for having read this book and my heart feels a little fuller in being able to share this with you all-💚🙏

Dear readers,

I am delighted to connect with you , in the beautiful month of September. Hope you have had a neat week, doing the things that give you meaning and joy. I have tried my best to develop a routine at the gym and I call this as a work in progress. Part of the inspiration for today’s post is from Dr.Peter Attia’s – wealth of information- a book called Outlive .

The intention of today’s post is to elaborate on ways that we can keep our balance and calm working towards better wellness

Feelings are impacted by a number of variables such as the events in the day , thoughts , memories, and also depends on the level of wellness that we feel in out body.

Feelings can also be impacted by what we eat – what we do and how we respond to the people , reminders and events that come by our way

Feelind are emotional -fluid , subjective, transient- go north or south depending on the occurrences of any given day. They have the potential to leave us tired , lost and overwhelmed .

Learning to manage our feelings can be done consciously . However it is not the case when things become too overwhelming.

An ideal way of managing feelings comes when we set a large window of calm or space and call it rightfully ours.

It is about making a regular habit of being in that space that feels safe – where we feel strong, true and well

About knowing ourselves really well – what we really like and what we want to get out from our day to day living

“The journey is not so much about becoming anything – maybe its about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”- Paulo Coelho

It is about working on activities that facilitate calm

1. Including some form of excercise every single day

2. Being informed that movement invites feelings of wellness

3. Maintaining a healthy diet

4. Accessing professional support to navigate through tricky thoughts and feelings

5. Having good sleep hygiene

6. Being informed that feelings influence thoughts and thoughts influence actions

7. Setting an intention for each day –

8. Having an awareness that exercise, creativity and intent – help in managing feelings

9. Having a routine

10. Making music a part of your routine

11. Choosing 2-3 values for example kindness, integrity and respect and using those values in all of your actions that you take up for the day

12. Being extra kind to self

13. And when low feelings creep up – do abrief check in and ask yourself – if those feelings serve a ourpose

14. Having a chosen number of people you trust and be choosy on who you invite into your safe space

15. Embracing acceptance

16. Knowing your strengths

17. Being unafraid of of what feels challenging

18. Asking for help

19. Taking up a hobby- reading , walking , pets, art

20. Taking small steps of courage

21. Being mindful that when you choose to live by your values – it is easier to keep moving head …,

Values stay with us

Values serve as an anchor

Values serve a Purpose

Values lead us to a life of contentment , Offer meaning and Help us move forward

Keeping the focus

On greater good

” Nothing beats kindness- it sits beyond all things “- Charlie Mackesy

Much love 💚

To my dear readers,

I am here briefly in India visiting family – I am grateful to have read a book that aligned with my interest in social connectedness , values and wellness

The intent of today’s post is to share with you perspectives that you might find useful in your wellness journey.

The book shares insight into principles of Adlerian psychology .

I felt compelled to share some insights into Adler’s principles for the following reasons

Human behaviour is socially embedded and has social meaning. This relates well to the evidence that the core function of our brain is relational

He emphasized the value of social relationships and in being connected to others. Working on connections that help us thrive increases the likelihood of us being emotionally healthy. What drew me to Adler’s framework was the focus on purpose and values . Working on chosen values allows for a life that is rich in purpose and meaning

I enjoyed his direction of categorizing our responsibilities as tasks –

Tasks for self

Tasks for work

Tasks for family / friends

Adler suggests working through the tasks based on our set of values and goodwill – so instead of seeking recognition he says “ do what suits you best according to your skills and values “

The teaching that stuck with me best- as much as social connections are , important we have to be led by our own values rather than always meeting the expectations of others 👏🏽😊

With aroha ,

5 Ideas from Jay Shetty`s Think Like a Monk

Live,Love, Serve  |  July,2023 | 18/07/2023

Kia Ora dear readers,

Hope you are keeping warm and well as we plod through the winter months –in the Southern Hemisphere. For those living in the Northern Hemisphere- make sure you keep hydrated and cool.

I have just finished the book  Covenant of Water by Abraham Varghese – a story about faith and resilience and delving into my next book Jay Shetty`s celebrated Think like a monk. I stumbled upon this passage on relationships and decided to make it the highlight of my blog today

The intent of today`s post is to write on the topic of relationships – and the rationale for it being the core of our wellbeing has everything to do with the level of social connections that we intend to make, to have and maintain on a day to day basis.

5 Ideas from the book- Think like a monk

• Research indicates that longevity is related to the healthy connections that we have within the family and outside of the family; We stay connected to people in our lives either through shared interests, shared belief systems and values that pave the way for healthy social behaviours.

• The author writes on  the matrix of social connections,  We form connections with [people based on traits of competence, care, character and consistency. When we look at the matrix of our individual connections we are likely to find the following:

1. Competence : we relate to some connections on the basis of their knowledge and expertise thy hold on  their respective fields -e.g. our mentors, authority figures -within or outside of family
2. Care:  Then comes connections based on care – those who have our wellbeing as their core interest and purpose- our parent/s and people who have us in their hearts
3. Character We are that much richer when we are blessed with connections who work with strong moral and ethical values – can be friends or family
4. Consistency : People in our lives that are reliable  , present and available when we need them

• Make your own family: Diversity in connections can be a blessing when friends become the family. It does not necessarily mean resentment towards family – but it a choice that you make when your value system differs or when distance plays a role – it is creating the heathy space you need to grow and thrive with connections outside of your family.

• Jean Dominique Martin – “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”-
• Some people come into our lives as a welcome change or fulfill the need for a shift in energy levels
• There are those that come in to our lives for a specific reason – there is a lesson to be learnt or a mini milestone of sorts to be achieved during the time we have them in our lives and then
• We have those that are with you for the span of our lifetime

• It is best for human connections to be considered a network of compassion and love – a component of life’s teachings, gifts and offerings meant for our learning, growth and wisdom. It is best to understand and accept that there will be movement in the connections we make, there will be fluidity within in the roles that people play in our lives and of course the role we play in people`s lives.  

Reflective exercise

• Check in
• Make a visual landscape pf your social connections
• Who are your friends – on the basis of the traits the show – for competence, care, character and consistency
• Identify those that are friends for a season, a reason or for life time
• Check in to see how you have been a friend for a reason, a season or a lifetime to some one else
• Be gentle in realizing that this is not about the label –instead knowing the landscape of your current social life can guide and cue you in your understanding that diversity of connections / healthy social connections – lead to life`s lessons that include fun, support, friendships and love

Kia Ora dear readers ,

Hope you are keeping well and warm if you live in the southern hemisphere as I do🌻😊

I love winter so this time of the year is something that I always look forward to -for those who are wary of winter , it’s best to remember the words of the Renaissance poet Shelley , “if winter’s here can spring be far behind.”

It rains often here in Auckland and it is mandatory to keep our hearts open and spirits warm.💚💙

The intention of my post today is to share a skill referred to as the REST 🌸

It is a strategy that incorporates mindfulness and cognitive (thinking skills ) tools to help to navigate through thoughts and memories that sometimes can be intrusive 🐒

REST is about using the following

1. Relax, 2. Evaluate ,3.Set intention 4. Take action

Relax : So when reminded of something that is disturbing or when feeling triggered learn to – Relax and stay in the moment – choose the moment to be aware of your thoughts – hold on to something or thought that is calming and just be present 🍀

Embrace more if nature , art, music and excercise

Evaluate : Ask yourself , why you are feeling triggered or fearful – be compassionate towards yourself and use expansive kindness on the self ask yourself what would you like to do about it🌸use acceptance and plentiful kindness when evaluating your context 💙

Set Intention : write down what you would like to achieve that is value based – around your values – for example

how would you like to progress in two years ‘ time

What values would you like to use to get to where you want to go – it might be around giving up an addiction , or might be around contributing to community or staying connected to family

please note the minute you work around values , emotions takes a step back .💚

Take Action: Once you have done that work towards your intention

Begin with small steps

For example if you want to work towards connection to community through service , you begin by exploring opportunities to volunteer for an hour

If it is to address an eating problem or drinking problem you might begin by using distraction though walking , through making a routine for yourself by being with kind service minded people who would help you feel and do better , based on value of commitment and kindness ☀️🌸💕

Have a wonderful weekend and make it a priority to be extra kind and compassionate to yourselves and to your fellow citizens

Arohanui💕🌸🍀🌟☀️

.

Live, Love, Serve | May,2023 | 16/3/2023

Kia Ora everyone,

 I begin my work today with glimpses of the sun`s rays hitting sharply at my window pane – it feels right that I have chosen to connect with you all on the subject of happiness.

The intention here is to share the science of happiness with you all.

Happiness is a state of being when our feelings, thoughts and actions feel light and easy and are in coherence with each other.

Happiness influences the quality of our lives- It has the capability to instill in us a zest for living – paving the way for us to do better for ourselves and for those around us

Happiness is also about how well we know ourselves

How well we Understand our needs and fulfil pir aspirations

Happiness is about having your cups brimming to the full

Doing the things you love – Emanating kindness to yourselves and those around

Arthur Brooks, an eminent professor teaching Happiness in Harvard University has come out with a very clever equation to Happiness.

Enjoyment + Meaning + Satisfaction = Happiness

So, when you evaluate the level of happiness

Enjoyment – How much of enjoyment is there in the things that you do  

Begin to add on things that feel like fun and bring in the smiles

Meaning or Purpose: Check in each day for the activities that serve a purpose – every little task counts

Examples

The purpose of walking is exercise

Purpose of eating out is for enjoying the flavors, connecting with loved ones

Satisfaction is founded upon a belief system and values.

 – is about feeling gratified that you have done well – we can get this when we connect with supportive family or with friends where we feel known; satisfaction can also come from the work –

When we know – our work is rewarded and that our work is helping people

I have elaborated simple facts on brain science in my previous blogs – one such fact is the brain helps us to think it helps us to move and it is connected to our head, heart and gut.

But the core function of the brain is relational. i.e.- the more we are connected to others and help others through work or play the better the happiness quotient and the quality of our lives.

Research indicates the more you engage in kindness,the more you stay connected-  more you increase the levels of feel good hormones that improve  health and wellbeing

Oxytocin in the name of the feel good hormones that add to our wellness quotient

When we look at some one in the eye  and smile – we get a doze of oxytocin – by the way pets help with oxytocin too – of course dogs more than cats – according to  the experts 😊

“The four pillars of happiness are faith, family, community and meaningful work- these are priorities that we have to keep investing in”- Arthur Brooks

On that note wishing you a light , easy and joyful Tuesday

Much love

Ma te wa