5 Ideas from Jay Shetty`s Think Like a Monk

Live,Love, Serve  |  July,2023 | 18/07/2023

Kia Ora dear readers,

Hope you are keeping warm and well as we plod through the winter months –in the Southern Hemisphere. For those living in the Northern Hemisphere- make sure you keep hydrated and cool.

I have just finished the book  Covenant of Water by Abraham Varghese – a story about faith and resilience and delving into my next book Jay Shetty`s celebrated Think like a monk. I stumbled upon this passage on relationships and decided to make it the highlight of my blog today

The intent of today`s post is to write on the topic of relationships – and the rationale for it being the core of our wellbeing has everything to do with the level of social connections that we intend to make, to have and maintain on a day to day basis.

5 Ideas from the book- Think like a monk

• Research indicates that longevity is related to the healthy connections that we have within the family and outside of the family; We stay connected to people in our lives either through shared interests, shared belief systems and values that pave the way for healthy social behaviours.

• The author writes on  the matrix of social connections,  We form connections with [people based on traits of competence, care, character and consistency. When we look at the matrix of our individual connections we are likely to find the following:

1. Competence : we relate to some connections on the basis of their knowledge and expertise thy hold on  their respective fields -e.g. our mentors, authority figures -within or outside of family
2. Care:  Then comes connections based on care – those who have our wellbeing as their core interest and purpose- our parent/s and people who have us in their hearts
3. Character We are that much richer when we are blessed with connections who work with strong moral and ethical values – can be friends or family
4. Consistency : People in our lives that are reliable  , present and available when we need them

• Make your own family: Diversity in connections can be a blessing when friends become the family. It does not necessarily mean resentment towards family – but it a choice that you make when your value system differs or when distance plays a role – it is creating the heathy space you need to grow and thrive with connections outside of your family.

• Jean Dominique Martin – “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”-
• Some people come into our lives as a welcome change or fulfill the need for a shift in energy levels
• There are those that come in to our lives for a specific reason – there is a lesson to be learnt or a mini milestone of sorts to be achieved during the time we have them in our lives and then
• We have those that are with you for the span of our lifetime

• It is best for human connections to be considered a network of compassion and love – a component of life’s teachings, gifts and offerings meant for our learning, growth and wisdom. It is best to understand and accept that there will be movement in the connections we make, there will be fluidity within in the roles that people play in our lives and of course the role we play in people`s lives.  

Reflective exercise

• Check in
• Make a visual landscape pf your social connections
• Who are your friends – on the basis of the traits the show – for competence, care, character and consistency
• Identify those that are friends for a season, a reason or for life time
• Check in to see how you have been a friend for a reason, a season or a lifetime to some one else
• Be gentle in realizing that this is not about the label –instead knowing the landscape of your current social life can guide and cue you in your understanding that diversity of connections / healthy social connections – lead to life`s lessons that include fun, support, friendships and love